Ro-Boy-Ro-Boy-Ro-Boy. Like zoinks glad you could make it. So here is a GREAT BIG Thank You for taking time out from rubber jawing and having a look here
So, now you’re here I guess you would like a little insight into me

Oh gosh, where do I begin?

I'm not the sharpest lamp on the street so, please be patient with me !

Me on Me: Daft as a brush only, not quite as useful as one, with the sexual appetite of a wild cat in a celibate rage, only to be hung like a hamster on a cold winter's morning. The hamster bit was a joke, I'm actually half Welsh & half Hungarian... which makes me Well Hung !!!

Age: I was born in a hospital… sorry 1973 so that makes me 36 (and no that’s not old for anybody less than 25 years of age reading this)

Location: I live in Lancashire (North West) flat caps, mushy peas and a ferret down me trousers if you please.

Sex: Tough one...once in the back of an Astra in 1990 I think?

Material status just out of a long term relationship (well its been ages now so thought an update was required) it was decided we both wanted different things in life she wanted to f**k around. (One day she said “Scoobert, I’m seeing another man” I said “Have you tried rubbing your eyes?”)and I was not so keen on the idea but sh*thappens the secret is to pick yourself up a shovel and start shovelling ready for the next load to be dropped.

Hair: If your colour blind its black, and if your not I see no point in bulling you its Ginger…ish

Height: If you’re tall I guess I'm pretty small and if you’re small I guess I'm pretty tall and if you’re of average height I guess we will see eye 2 eye.

Occupation: Cartoon super hero… exponent in the art of catching... cartoon villains(god I'm actually starting to believe this tripe myself).

Greatest Achievement in My Life (up to now): Calling the Ryveta hot line twice in one evening.

Personality: I'm a nice chap so my friend says anyway, nuttier the squirrel shite found on the pavements of nuts Ville, which is in Brazil I have a sense of humour somewhere, dryer then a camels flip flop and a little off the cuff at times but we have our little faults don’t we?

Sounds: After a hard days crime fighting with those meddling kids I enjoy nothing more then to pour a glass of fine Cognac light a fine hand rolled Cuban cigar put up the old paws and pump up the dB's to the funky sounds of Mississippi river boat jazz ummmmmm nice!).

Hobbies: I enjoy doing all the things any normal 36 year old enjoys doing these include sewing buttons on shirts, collecting goats milk cheese from around the world, testing the moisture content of the garden compost and having a paddle with piranha fish please don’t try to emulate this feat at home I am trained to BBP British Piranha paddlers Association) level 3 standard I also enjoy a game of crown green bowls and Lawn Tennis in the summer months.

Looks: So what do I look like? Like badly packed Doner Kebab

Loves:

Roast beef monster munch.
Laughing and smiling.

Wild hair.

Helping little old ladies across roads

GREAT BIG cheeky smiles that go on for miles and miles

My puddy cat

Hope Sandoval's (Mazzy Star) voice... it just melts me.

Pet hates.

Walkers.... for only selling roast beef monster munch in multi-packs

Scrappy doo what a shite mistake he turned out to be

“Wotever”

People who can’t be a***d looking for parking spaces in nearly full car parks also people who don’t park between the white lines.

Getting dog shite on your shoes even more so with deep treads don’t you just hate that I know I do.

When you pull the bin liner out of the bin and the bloody thing rips. Grrrrrrrrr.

Computers what’s wrong with good old pad and pencil?

Profiles that say hi I'm a boy/girl of such an age I live in what’s his name please leave me a message that’s not a profile is it if you can’t be bothered to write a profile then why should people be bothered to write you a message.

Coupon collectors you know the ones they hold up the queue at the supermarket check out sorting out and handing in countless money off vouchers they have cut out from free magazines or ones they have robbed from the dentist waiting rooms 0.5 p off a pot noodle 1p off pound sign pasta shapes in tomato sauce the tight sods.

Meat pies... they are bloody offal

Trying to change windscreen wipers... have you ever tried to do it, it’s easier to break in to Fort Knox.

People who try and talk like Ali G... What the ride the Punani is that all about geezer. Dat is nuff said.

Green things.

So, if you’re woman with wild hair, a GREAT BIG cheeky smile, who can park a car, empty a bin and you are willing to clean dog shite off my shoes then come find me (Even if your not come say hello)

Favourite quotes/Tips:

"Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds upon the heel that has crushed it" - Mark Twain.

"Son, don't make the same mistakes I did - don't marry your mother" - My Dad

"Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species" - Can't remember!

I have enough money to last me my lifetime, as long as I never buy anything.

Some days you will be the pigeon and on others you will be the statue

Always wear a smile, as u never know who’s falling in love with it

Cold hands no gloves (is that right)

An archaeologist is the best husband a women can have; the older she gets the more
interested he becomes in her

A bird in a bush goes like a bull in a china shop (that’s not right)

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse always gets the cheese

We all bleed and we all smile so why cant we all laugh and get along

Is infertility hereditary (my dad says not)

Never date golfers they play around

Toast always lands butter side down cats always land on there feet (well paws) so simply strap your toast (butter side up) to a cats back

Is the leaning tower of pizza a "listed" building

Don’t ever be afraid to tell somebody how you feel, because if you are you could be missing out on the greatest thing in your life

Remember even if you fall flat on your face, you’re still moving forward.

AND Don't take yourself or life too seriously... if god had wanted life to be taken seriously he wouldn't have given some of us Ginger hair would he?