***Updated November 2009***You know, there are so many profiles I see with something to the effect of "I can be ready and change from shorts and sneakers to a formal dress in 30 minutes or less. Are there a lot of guys who really require this? Is this a dating site or a Dominoes pizza delivery policy? For our first date I'm going to come over with my stop watch and time you. "I'm sorry, that took you 33.5 minutes. I'm afraid you owe me a pizza..." Alright, enough kvetching....on with the profile......

Hello you beautiful fishing woman. If you're reading this, you obviously have great taste! Or bored! Or you're just curious. Btw, "Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while, I was a suspect" (Steven Wright) You know these profiles all seem the same, so here's a little song about me you can sing along to (to the theme of "Gilligan's Isle." Oh go ahead and sing...you know you want to!)

Now sit right back and begin to read
A tale of a man named Tom
He has no kids cuz he avoided
Doing Octo-mom

This mate is a happy music man
and folks say he's all heart,
He posts no pictures with his shirt off,
Or other body parts. Or other body parts

So if you need a lover/friend
Well you may get your wish,
Let's sail through these uncharted seas
Here on Plenty of Fish!

Okay, downshifting from TV references, I'm happy to report that I'm "comfortable in my own skin", although I confess I've never tried on anyone else's. (Who am I, Hannibal Lecter?) Okay, enough with the jokes,(that's what I do when I'm nervous...well that, and a mild dose of barking, but I digress...) I have my serious side, and I'm very passionate about my wonderful family, my music, being decent and kind to others. I know everyone says this, but I feel really "young" for my age. In fact, my ex used to love giving me time outs. As for other stuff, I do enough out door activity's to satisfy my inner Russell Crowe (But I don't throw fits or phones), and little kids and sentimental love stories bring out my inner Oprah. (Don't worry, I'm not on the verge of lactating)

As far as looks go, think a cuter Barney Rubble without Betty, Bam-Bam (or bling-bling)

I would love to meet someone who has sunshine oozing out of her smile (or at least partly cloudy with a chance of smiling) I'm a sucker for a woman who possesses the killer B's: Brains, beauty ( at least to me) and benevolence.(and butt, whoops, sorry) Ultimately, I want someone whose kiss will feel like "home". Speaking of which, kissing is my favorite dish. (now with less carbs!) I could spend hours on the "appetizers". What can I say? I'm a "hopeful" romantic. We can begin with hello and see how we click. (or double click, in our case) Then perhaps, you might like to start off with an appetizer. I have wonderful friends, but I'd much rather hang w/ my lovah/friend/partner in crime. Hopefully, they'll all be the same person. (insert rimshot here) In the end, well, as my beloved Grandmother, Sadie, used to advise me, "Young'un, handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or hump it, then just piss on it and walk away."

My life is already, "cake"...but I'm looking for a special woman to be the "icing" on the cake. mmmmmm, I love icing!!

**Full Dislosure** I'm a woman. I'm a republican. I'm a republican woman. Noooooooo, oh hell no, that's not it. I'm actually five years older. I put this age to be seen by a younger age group. I don't mean to deceive anyone. Whew, got that off my chest. Now I can take off these high heels and turn off Fox news........

***Ultimate Full Disclosure****I'm really a libra!! (slip of the hand....no, really!)

I don't know if we'll do this on the first date, but on a first real hot date, I would love to have nutty conversations in bed (not by myself, of course) at 3:00am,(on weekends, usually) while the candles are flickering and looking up at the reflections on the ceiling. (example...ME:"hey, doesn't that shadow up there look like Marty Feldman's weird eye? YOU: "Shut up and kiss me!"



I'd just like to add...
-----///\\-----Plz
----///-\\\----Put This
---|||---|||---On Your
---|||---|||---account If
---|||---|||---You Know
----\\\- ///----Someone
-----\\///-----Who Died
------///\-----Of
-----///\\\----Cancer
----///--\\\---Or whom maybe suffering from it