If you have made it this far in life (ASSuming the average reader is 35+) and say you have NO 'baggage' I call bull$h!t or you haven't actually lived your life. It's the size of the metaphorical baggage and how you stow it that counts.

No, the pic is not a "Glamour Shot", it's what I look like when I put 15 minutes of effort into getting ready... not what you would wake up next to in the morning.

In fact it's one of those 'awful' self taken at arms length pictures... you know... the kind used by people 'with no friends'

... or kiddie photographers that take pictures of your knees, or get up the nose shots. Or decide that the passing cat's tail, or dog's foot is infinitely more interesting to get a shot of.

Generally I'm a minimum make up, if any, kind of person. I usually just pull my hair back in a headband or ponytail. I'm a t shirt and jeans kind of person. I can, and do, clean up. But I'm not a high heels wearer... I've injured my self enough to know better.

The forums entertain me. I think I'll stick to them for now.

"good guy"
"looking to make friends"
"romantic"
"gentleman"

I call bull$h!t on those self descriptions. Maybe some of you need to look the terms up in a dictionary before using them.

If you are asking yourself "Bitter much?"... the answer is... Nope, just tired of the hypocrisy.

Yes, I am a b!tch. An official card carrying heartless b!tch. Member number 6602

I have a character minimum on initial emails. 50 characters really isn't that much to type. Use your imagination to come up with something other than ////// to get the count up. Creativity is appreciated, stupidity is mocked.

'Friends' does NOT mean 'Friends With Benefits'. If that's the only type of friend you are looking for, you won't find it here.

I have three boys that are with me 99% of the time. All three are involved in scouts. That alone leaves me with very little 'me time'. So I'm going to be even pickier about who that is spent with.

I don't smoke, and don't like being around it.
I'm not 420 friendly by any means.
I have a low bull$h!t tolerance level.
I don't believe in organized religion (for me!).
I have three tattoos and one more is planned.
I'm not impressed by midlife crisis motorcycles (not that I don't like them... I'm just not impressed by possessions in general).
I have a huge soft spot for animals.
I'm more bold in written word than I am when first meeting IRL (really kinda shy)

A brother in law asked me if I was running a "Hospice for Dogs". I took in another old dog with health issues in October. She is 14 years old and her owners turned her in to the shelter. They didn't have the heart to put her down because she was so sweet. I didn't have the heart to let her live in the shelter miserable. Now that she has the proper medical care she is much perkier and happier.

I do my best to spoil those I care about... animal and human. But the animals I've taken care of have never hurt me the way the people have.

One of my (many) pet peeves (Peeves are easier to take care of than the cats, dog and rabbit, so more is OK) Is the generic "Must like to have fun" in profiles. A Slinky is fun. Can we stand at the top of some stairs and I'll push you down them like a Slinky? Sounds like fun to me. No?? Well then be a little more specific then.

What walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, and makes a slinkity sound?
A spring, a spring, a marvelous thing! Everyone knows it's Slinky.
It's Slinky, it's Slinky. For fun it's a wonderful toy.
It's Slinky, it's Slinky. It's fun for a girl or a boy.
It's fun for a girl or a boy!

I'd leave my three young kids all by themselves. So I can go meet you spur of the moment for an IE in the back seat of your primer grey and Bondo'd late seventies b!tchin' Camaro, complete with self tinted windows. The bubbles add to the effect. Where I would give you the best blow job you've had in your life. I wouldn't want to stay and get to know you... so I'd get the hell out as soon as you got your needs met. I'd say 'call me', but I really don't want to hear from you again. I just want to test my luck in staying disease free.

Really... being a responsible parent and living a respectable life is sooo overrated.

If you read that thinking... "Yeah Buddy!!"
Go ask someone for a quarter to buy yourself a clue... it's called sarcasm.