Really funny LMAO reading it....Enjoy.

After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'
'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'
'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning..
'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kph.. (Remember, the Pope is German..)
'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.
'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!'
'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: ' A senator?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's God!'
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'
Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'

Here's one more... really FUNNY!!!! har...har...har

Johnny's Mother looked out the window and noticed
Him "PLAYING CHURCH" with their cat.

He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching
to it. She smiled and went about her work.

A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing
and ran back To the open window to see Johnny
baptizing the cat in a tub of water.

She called out, "Johnny, stop that! The cat is
afraid of water!"

Johnny looked up at her and said,
"He should have thought about that before he joined
my church." WAHAHAHA!!!!!


Here's about me :-) single mom filipina, never married, 5'5" height proportionate to weight hehe, have my place in lakewood, work at a karaoke distribution in Anaheim so if you are a karaoke freak then I am the girl for you lol...I give 50%discount to those who would sing for me hahaha...I enjoy hanging out with friends on happy hour's and weekends, bbq's, dinners, watch sports, also love the outdoors or just stay home and cook for my family. I'm a great cook btw...not bragging but just a precaution that you might get fat when you are with me lol. I am affectionate, kind, respectable, no drama, very cool to hang out with and spontaneous as my friends describe me....oh and BTW before I forget " I do have a CAR"...lol.

I am looking for a family oriented guy, has to be honest because that's where we start building our trust with each other, have goals in life as I have set mine, stable, intellectual, down to earth, respectable to other people, love sports, have a great sense of humor, someone who can laugh at himself like I do, who can be silly sometimes... I am looking for friendship that would lead to a long term and committed relationship. If you like what you've read so far hit me up there's a lot more to know....

Have a quiet dinner where we can talk or meet up for coffee or drinks...