I am seeking a like-minded woman to share a disastrous 3-9 month relationship with, ending in acrimony, emotional chaos, and possibly legal proceedings. I am looking for an attractive female who will at first give me obsessive love, praise and devotion - but whose paranoia, self-loathing and fear of rejection and abandonment will eventually lead her to alternately push me away and pull me closer in a love/hate cycle that will lead to infidelity, consensual sexual violence, and the eventual emotional breakdown of one or other party - or if we're lucky - both! You should:
* be 21 to 45 years old;
* have a history of short, intense, drama-driven relationships;
* have undergone negative psychiatric evaluations in the past; and
* be willing to threaten self-harm and/or annihilation as a weapon to control your partner and make them stay with you and care for you.

Although not completely necessary, I would prefer women:
*with nice smiles and eyes;
* who are married or already in unstable relationships;
* that drink to forget; and
* who have had a previous established diagnosis of Borderline or Dependent Personality Disorder, Manic Depression, Anxiety Disorder or Bi-Polar Affective Disorder - or who are currently taking Lithium Carbonate antidepressants.

If you think you meet these requirements (and wow, I'm getting excited just writing them!), please don't hesitate to get back to me as soon as possible. In the meantime, thank you for reading my ad, and do take care...

I totally ripped that off...

Ok, obviously I tend not to take things too seriously, and truth be told, sometimes that comes off the wrong way. I like the same kinda things that most people do. I value my relationships at whatever level they happen to be. I dig animals, specifically dogs. I like a good stiff Martini as well as deep glass of red wine. I can even get into jaeger bombs and shots of grand ma if provoked... actually, "no" isnt really in my vocabulary... bring it on.

I like sports but my universe doesnt revolve around them. I go to rams/cards/blues games with some regularity but enjoy the social aspect of it moreso than really diggin in and watching the game. Exception, playoff's.

I study Krav Maga, its an Israeli fighting art that... eh just google it. I also Road Race motorcycles, and in my free time like to play golf with my folks, stirke that. I USED to like to play golf with my folks but now my mom KILLS me, its a bunch of crap she's still playin from the reds...
I live on a lake and really want to nail this whole wake boarding thing but havent had the time to really sink my teeth into it, I'm much better on a ski. I'll get there.

I'm not really looking for anything or anyone in particular. Physical attraction is important to me... think girl next door. Not manufactured. If You NEED 2 hours before you can even THINK about leavin the house youre probably not the girl for me. Also I keep myself pretty fit, and appreciate a girl that does the same. Was that shallow? No more shallow then browsing the pics until you see someone "hot" you wanna talk too... lol Gotta have a lil sass to keep me interested, things seem to go best when ya keep me on my toes and dont put up with my sh!t :) Common interests are a bonus but I have met some of the most interesting people by having less in common than more. Learning new things is never bad IMO. I dont judge, I dont lie, and I'm scared to death of needles. I'm as real as it gets. Wanna learn more? Just ask!

First dates depend entirely on the girl I am with. I like to have a drink or two to loosen up a bit, maybe a light dinner. Its nice when the converstaion just flows ya know? I dont like going to a noisy bar. IMO the first date should be all about seeing if you want a second date, wouldnt you agree?

Nothing too over the top, just a relaxed atmosphere that lets each person be themself. Gotta be fun, there has to be laughter. We need a distraction from our day to day right?

So distract me already!!