You've just reached the most awesome page on PlentyofFish. Because I'm just all sorts of awesome. Probably awesomer than you.

What I'm looking for is a girl that I'll talk to once and then never email again. Some topics for this one-time discussion could include, but are not limited to:

- My hair
- My boyishly good looks
- Things you are willing to do for me, that I won't plan on reciprocating

Things to avoid in this conversation:

- Anything about you

Should we, by some freak occurence/lapse in my own personal judgment, decide to meet up, be advised that I'll likely be 15-45 minutes late to our first date. I'll yes you to death while you tell boring stories. I'll likely get hammered drunk. I might even start a fight with a random bystander. If this sounds like your idea of fun, drop me a line!

In the extremely unlikely chance we start dating, here's a few things to keep in mind:

1) I won't call you when I say I will. These are lies to make you think I actually care.
2) I won't pick up when you call. I probably won't even call back. I like to screen my calls for absolutely no reason.
3) Don't expect timely gifts, or any at all. I'm too busy being awesome to appreciate you.
4) I expect a weekly gift, or token of your appreciation. If I can't be reached, you can leave it in my mailbox. Which, would probably be better even if I can be reached, this way I won't have to see you.

If any of this interests you, try emailing me. There's maybe a 10% chance I'll respond. I hope you're a gamblin' gal!

See above!