Mediocre male seeking goal oriented overachieving self absorbed prude.
Conversations about "how hot you were in college" and "how no man is good enough" are a must.
Has to be willing to sneak into bedroom window after 10pm, as to not wake the parents.

Seriously,
My mom is a light sleeper, ninja like sneaking abilities are a requirement.

Tim Hortons drive thru or a cruise though the car wash, something quick just incase you are a creep.