Ok so here is the deal. I am a clean cut professional man, and let me emphasize the term “man”. Yes I am quoting myself because I am so superior that even I bow down to myself. I am a mans man, if I could marry myself, I’d have already done it. I can pick up automobiles and throw them to the moon. This is something I enjoy doing in my past time when I’m not finding the cure for cancer in my massive 100k sqft laboratory. Yes, you guessed it, I’m also the smartest human being on the planet. I have been to Mars four times just this year. I am solely responsible for ending the cold war. Charlie Wilson stole the credit with his cleverly crafted story of winning through “bureaucracy”. I have sued Charlie Wilson five hundred and fifty three times. I not only represented myself but I also represented him and was the acting judge on all 553 cases. Charlie Wilson is very much so alive and lives in my basement where I have forced him to write apology letters to all of the people in Russia. So far he has only covered about four million people. He has a lot of work to do. I enjoy short walks on the beach due to the fact that when I walk on any beach for a long period of time, a monsoon will surely ensue on the opposite side of the Earth. I am also a ladies man. Woman float to me like I am a magnet. My tongue and manhood are genetically constructed to vibrate. My penis is so massive that I some times wear it as a scarf. So with that said, shoot me a message and we will take it from there. If possible, please send over your college transcripts, last four years of tax returns, and if possible, a DNA sample. I look forward to the one person out there who has a sense of humor and actually giggled while reading over this long and drawn out silliness. If you can’t laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?