Me, in adjectival form with scattered adverbs, prepositions and nouns: busy, sly, witty, picky, secretly intellectual, musical, passionate to a fault, easily amused by wordplay, grandiose, frightening to the sheepish, never bored and certainly never boring.

Me, in various book titles that will never be made: The King of Not Getting His Hopes Up; A Weekly Pessimist, An Eternal Optimist; Jeff Goes Out and Makes a Fool Of Himself; Jeff Goes Out and Makes Fool of Himself Pt. 2: Electric Boogaloo; Crazy in a Good Way; You Can't Spell Debauchery Without 'Her Bed' and Other Essays On Taking Jokes Too Far; Jeff is a Prude or How Jeff Never Realized This Until Awkwardly Pointed Out By Friends

Alright, so enough with the blatant attempt at wit. I have a serious problem. I seem to only want to date people that are waaaaay out of my league. Consequently, here I am. I guess I'm just not one to settle. ANYWAY, I love girls who are smart, beautiful, witty, able to push and pull, a little on the crazy side, not so serious all the time, happy and most importantly willing to deal with me. Is that really so much to ask? Oh. It is? Hmm. Well....I, uh...I can change? Why are you walking away metaphorically? :(

see, i knew you'd come back. my doe eyes and sad face always break hearts. i know we've had our rough times, girl, but let's go grab some malts and talk about the effect of 80's soft rock on chechnyan politics. i knew that would make you happy.

for those who just skip to the bottom to get to the thesis: i love the outdoors, dogs, football, dogs, the outdoors, baseball, music, dogs, outdoors, music, anything outdoors, cats (lol, no way), and the outdoors.

for those who just look at the pictures: i'm not a piece of meat. well, i mean in a strictly biological sense i guess you could view me that way but i have feelings to, ya know?

for those who've made it this far: i hope you think this was hilarious or that i am a complete megalomaniac. either way i've succeeded. msg me, k? thx

Perfect end of a first date is defined by the song I've Made Enough Friends by The Wrens:

"brush your shoulder w/ an off-hand gesture / I'm holding your stare /
invite me upstairs
we look for reasons to stand closer touching / we look at a book / of
pictures you took
see who's taller and then arm wrestle a bet / I match your breathing
our chins touch closer we get
it's hours later and we're not much further / we've made it to bed /
your shirt's 'round my head
hands full of your hair and I can't stop kissing / I'm licking your
lips / my hand on your hips
a rush of wonder this charm we're under might last / are we done with
others all other lovers are past
what's beginning? a brand-new winning, I can't stop kissing, I can't

undo your buckle while you bite at my neck / I've waited no end / I've
made enough friends
we're down to nothing and I can't stop shaking / you're nothing but
skin / I think we're done in
rush of wonder this spell we're under might last"

I will meet that girl some day ;)