STUFF ABOUT ME:

STDs are funny (to talk about, not to have, cuz that ain't funny)

YES I HAVE A CAR (why does this site ask that?)

My dog once had hysterical pregnancy (per the vet)

I can't watch movies with animals because I can't deal with them getting hurt, i.e. March of the Penguins, 8 Below, Earth, Silence of the Lambs (ha)

I drink a 5 Hour Energy every day

I pee when I laugh but it doesn't burn when I pee (that's the key)

I have to watch Family Guy when I go to bed or else I can't sleep.

I get too excited when I play videogames that have to do with racing to the point where I can't play them anymore.

I enjoy rare to raw meat

I hate Celine Dion

I kind of floss a LOT

I love watermelon and have always wanted to throw one off a tall building

I hate the smell of Play Doh but love the smell of crayons

I snore like a Wildabeast

Animals love me

I text more than I should

I wash my hands about 15 times a day yet my dog still smells like a dumpster

I hate wearing a bra

I like answering questions with, "your mom." It works 75% of the time.

Bring it on!

Qualities I look for in a man:
1) manners - open my door. it doesn't take that much effort.
2) humor - i will def make you laugh. i hope you can do the same because i won't ever fake it.
3) smell - as in, smell good. :)

In the words of my favorite comedian, Deven Green, "If it doesn't make me cry or bleed, I'll do it."