The teacher in me feels compelled to re-write my profile, at the risk of "sounding" like a jerk and possibly angering some women. But for 3 months now, since re-joining POF in eary September, I have dutifully "played the game" curteously and honestly, while trying to find a suitable partner. I have been polite and cordial, always responding back to anyone who wrote to me. I have "foot the bill" for ALL the expenses on the 15 dates I have had so far, with not one woman ever offering even to pay her share or offer a tip. When 2 people meet for the 1st time, why is the guy expected to pay for it ALL ladies? There's a difference between "a mutual 1st time meeting" and "you being wined and dined". Ask Ann Landers, Miss Manners or the Advice Goddess. Some of you knew you weren't interested in me, yet had no problem chowing a "free" meal and sucking down premium drinks...only to leave me the $80 bill and a "blow-off" later. WOW! I've shelled out about $1000 so far during my futile 3 month search, between lunches, dinners, drinks and gas...maybe a night with a couple high-class Call-girls would have been more worth the money.? It's not even about the money, it's about the woman doing what's right. Are you all just Gold-diggers seeking a Sugar Daddy or Money Train? The next issue I have involves "correct portrayal" of yourself in your profile. When did sloppy-fatness become the norm? Guys in general are not attracted to a woman who has let herself go. Just because the "average" woman is a size 12, it doesn't condone poor health - it says we are a gluttoness society of big fatties. I too battle body fat - the key word being "BATTLE"! That means you have to work-out, watch your portions and eat healthy. It takes sacrifice and commitment to accomplish, but if you want a desirable body, you HAVE to do it! - - especially as you age and your metabolism slows. Having been an athlete for most of my life, a body-builder for 20 years and a distance runner for 15 years, I have committed to health and fitness for LIFE! I turn 45 this week (12/9), and can prove I have the physique of an In-shape 25-year-old. My goal is still to have 6-pack abs by spring. Don't I deserve to meet a woman who is at least less than a size 10? It's not shallow to want a partner in good health, who is not ashamed to be naked or wear sexy clothes, who wants to avoid diabetes, heart disease and cardio-vascular deterioration. Is it? The problem is that all those rap videos about big butts being sexy has only enabled you to accept that your unhealthy body is O.K. It is not, and I assure you it will be the death of you! It's alright to have a donut, just go walk for an hour and burn it off. So when you post a photo, or describe your body type, do so honestly. "A few extra pounds" means no more than 5-10 lbs, even though the word "few" means 3 - - not 30! A pretty face-shot in a photo is only being mis-leading, when you are really trying to "hide" the rest of your body. The guy will most likely notice, probably as you get up from dinner and walk towards the ladies' room. Then he is stuck with the bill as she continued slurping drinks. How nice. In addition, honesty is honesty! Any act of dishonesty is not honesty. When did I miss the memo about lying being an accepted practice that "everyone does" (as one woman argued)? If you wilfully lie about something as trivial as age, you most certainly will lie about "big ticket" items as well. That is a huge RED FLAG! Total honesty does not mean total disclosure though. That means just because you don't reveal all the "skeletons in your closet" on the 1st date, it doesn't mean you are a liar. But when you say in your profile that you are 41 when you are really 47, that is called lying! If anyone is asked a point-blank question, they should answer with the truth. There is NO gray area on this one - and that goes for men and women!! Finally, shouldn't you put closure on an existing relationship before attempting to enter a new one? I don't mean you can't go on 3 different dates in the same week, in attempting to find a mate. I mean get divorced or end your volatile relationship BEFORE you seek a new partner. Are women really that insecure with themselves that they can't have a "gap" between relationships? If you are "separated" you are still MARRIED! That makes me an Adulterer if we become sexually active. Is the logic, "thanks for dinner and drinks, but I still love my boyfriend"? Or better yet, how about sending out positive signals to one guy - leading him to believe there is mutal attraction, and then sleeping with a different guy the next night! That happened to me in October, and guess which guy I was? I joined POF for a couple of months back in 2007, and met "Cherry" (name changed to protect her identity). We had instant attraction towards each other, dated for several months, while removing our profiles as commitment to each other. I fell hard for her, but the bitter divorce she was going through put a strain on "us" to the point of causing our break-up. I never really got a fair chance, because she had not resolved things before beginning anew. I miss her dearly and wish she would rescue me from this current "sea of disturbia". Please call Cherry! So here I am, an attractive, in-shape guy who is intelligent, educated, adventurous and loving. I'm not claiming perfection, as I have mostly Christian values with a few devilish ways. I am confidant, successful, playful, funny, progressive and happy, with travels and travails that will make your jaw drop. I don't need or want Barbi, but just someone who takes care of herself, one who is honest and genuine, with few hang-ups. She can expect me to treat her as she had always hoped someone would treat her. I love kissing, cuddling, affection and exploration. Sex is so much better when there is real intimacy that goes with it. I have felt love and loss, and I certainly know what I prefer. I speak proper English and can formulate sentences; and have written "published works". I love to sing and dance! I'm a Gardener, Educator, Adventurer, Kayaker, Drummer, Nurturer, Conservationist, Animal Lover, Activist, Rollerblader, Dreamer, Traveller, Do-gooder and more! I will protect you, cherish you, rescue you, challenge you, serve you, grow old with you, tickle you, love you, die for you and more! So, if you do not have the intent of a tapeworm, the direction of a moth, the body of a boll weevil and the infidelity of a lemur, I would like to hear from you. If you want to **** at me, challenge what I have said, debate me, ignore me, bash me, block me or date me -- feel free. I am secure. My search for a compatible partner on POF will end soon, and then I will just resign myself to a happy single state...w/o bankruptcy, drama and unpredictability. I refuse to accept and condone the shallow, selfish, superficial, sadistic, self-centered, stereotyping, sneaky, social society known as "THE DATING WORLD"! It wasn't always this way, for I have

I love the excitement and nervousness of a 1st date. It's best to keep it simple and not more than a few hours. I prefer a quiet place where good conversation can ensue. Maybe dinner and drinks with a walk along the water or a nature trail. You can't talk at a movie, bars with music are too loud and meeting at home is always a no-no. The 1st date is really just a formality...it's not until date 4, 5, and 6 that things liven-up and you find out if you want to spend more time together.