ass, but nobody likes a smartass. Are you one of those? Then don't read any further, but if you like your donkey on the intelligent side, by all means read on!

I am 5'10, 185lbs, hazel eyes, blonde hair. I'm the best of both worlds: Scottish AND Italian :-) I am an avid cyclist, but not a fanatic. I'd rather read than watch TV. I would rather play football than watch it. I can rub my tummy and pat my head but can't dribble a basketball and run at the same time. I consider the speed limit more of a suggestion than a law. I'm Libertarian, but not libertine. I like alternative rock over Top 40. I like CSI, but not Jerry Springer. Prefer Porsche to pickup but have both since it's hard to haul much in a sports car. I can fix my own computers and my own cars. I can pound a nail but am likely to pound my thumb as well.

I've been 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Skied down a black diamond slope my first day on skis-and survived, much to my amazement. Roller-skated competitively (stop laughing). I’ve paid WAY too much for a mountain bike, but got a good deal on a road bike. I’ve had the joy of delivering a baby. Watched a sunset from the farthest northwest tip of the Continental U. S. and have the pics to prove it. I’ve guarded ships and mice. I work with both tool bags and computers. I’m a jack of all trades, master of none. Made cheese and make my own pizzas. I've worked as a specialty chef, but hate to cook. I will never be a specialist, always a generalist.

I am looking for someone who is as complicated as I am. Someone who is high-maintenance but easy to get along with. Classy yet tacky. Proud but not stuck-up. Mature but not old. In shape but not a fitness Nazi. Pretty but not beautiful. Girl-next-door, but one-of-a-kind.

Is this you or am I on a Snipe hunt? I'm willing to find out, how about you?

Help! I've detected blood contamination in my caffeine system!