This is where I’m supposed to describe myself so total strangers can evaluate and judge me. We are all the sum of all our experiences in our lives, our accumulated knowledge, our tastes, our “stuff” we have developed over a lifetime.

I thought I wasn’t a very complicated person but when I sat down to reflect and actually put into words what I have to write here I thought "Damn these profiles!" So I thought and thought and after a bottle of wine, I decided instead of telling you the boring things that every other guy is doing here. I decided to share with you some fun facts about myself:

-I like to bowl but I’m better at bumper bowling that regular bowling.
-I can watch a movie for 10 seconds and 90 percent of the time know what movie it is (proving that I know 90 percent about nothing)
-My athletic goal of a lifetime is to be able to dunk a basketball, being 6’3” I thought I had a chance, but after seeing my vertical leaping ability, I’ve settled for lowering the basket to 9 feet and calling it a draw.
- I’ve been told that if you don’t like your fortune from a fortune cooking ask for another.
- I love when your girlfriend leaves your place, and you can still smell her in your sheets, but don’t have to hear her snoring. (note; I’m talking about her perfume not well…. Um you know)
- I thought I was a good card player until my 10 year nephew took my life insurance and retirement money away from me and now I have to ask him for an allowance.
-I took 3 years piano lessons played classical music, performed in recitals, now I’m lucky to be able to do chopsticks.
-Parents, brothers, and pets love me, it’s the daughters, sisters, owners that are the issue.
-I love an independent woman, problem is their so independent they don’t want me in their life anymore.
-I grew up in the mtv generation. Then I was moved to vh1, now i’m relegated to vh1 classics.
-I used to make fun of the bad hair on those hair bands of the 80’s now I’m just grateful I have hair.
-My mother used to take hotel towels as a kid till I told her what they did with them.
-I think reality tv is the downfall of this country. Then again I just can’t get enough of celebrity rehab.
-I hate CSI, CSI Miami, CSI New York. All those programs have done is give criminals who break into my car and steal my GPS ways not to leave any prints behind so the cops will never find them, Thank a lot CSI.
-The best advertising slogan of all time was “nothing more than 99 cents, nothing less than great” Zantigo company motto circa 1986.
-I think the scientist that came up with the conclusion that eating chocolate is good and healthy for you should get a Noble peace prize!
-I would be a vegetarian, if I didn’t like meat so much.
-I would eat sushi, but I fish and the only sushi I want is right after I put it in the frying pan with some shore lunch. (But I love hot saki, and cooked fish)
-I’m proud I can say that I’ve seen star wars 50 times, every star trek movie at least 20 times, all the lord of the rings movies, and can still say I have a life. And had a girlfriend.
-I love to play golf, have had 2 hole in one’s, hit the ball over 300 yards. I’ve also hit the ball 30 yards backwards, skiped a golf ball over a pond, driven the ball two fairways to the right, hit a bird on a drive, sorry peta, and let a rattle snake and A Mountain lion keep my stray golf balls.
-Shakeys is the best pizza of all time.
-I’m going to learn Spanish so I can order a meal at a restaurant
-If you run into a parked car while riding a bike and no one sees you did it happen? (this statement does not infer that I did that myself 3 times as a child)
-Wild Mountain is not a mountain!
-Question? Walter Cronkite was considered the most respectable newscaster but had a mistress for over 20 years, so what does that say about the news?
-I have an irrational hope that unfortunate things happen to the kardashians and Paris Hilton.
-I believe that If I’ve spent my hard earned money seeing one of the lousy local teams play sports, I’ve earned a right to take a nap during the game when it becomes a blow out.
-Another Question? Why do they ask you if you would like butter on your popcorn at a movie theatre, when the only thing that it has in common with butter is its yellow and its liquid.
-I believe the best way to travel thru Iowa is Asleep.

In all seriousness, I’m a motivated, driven person, who is goal oriented, in a great place, with a large group of great friends, close family, and loved by many. I’ve been told time and time again that I’m a keeper and a great catch. Although I’m funny and kinda a smart ass, I have real goals, I have honest intentions, I’ve worked hard all my life to get to the point where things are really taking off for me and Its an exciting time for myself and I believe the best is yet to come. I hope to find someone that I have a connection with and wants to share in my life or wants me to dress up in my red tuxedo and red fur coat, hat and glasses and wants me to be her “daddy” (either one works for me)

If I peeked your interest on anything you just read send me a message ( I can’t believe you just read that entire thing. :-)

Something lite. Something fun, something without pressure, and a lot of laughs. A Round of golf or just meet at the driving range. a bottle of wine at a local bar. going biking, (hopefully I wont run into a parked car while talking to you.) (one of the things I can laugh at about myself) or just for a walk, if you have a dog, or not.