my hobbies are writing poetry, reading self help books, long walks on the beach, horseback riding, goin out to just think about different things.
my goals are to find a desent man thata would be able so be there for me in ma time of need.
im 18 and for most people they think by bein 18 you have your whole life ahead of you which is true, but i know what i want and i wont stop til i get it. i been hurt in the past many times and im tried of it. im lookin for somebody i could spend the rest of my life with. at 18 u want to find married they ask??? yes i do!!! i know exactly what i want and i wont stop at nuffin til i get it. Right now the first thought in my mind is "Y did I let myself fall again" For someone who always has that mind set of "**** u, I don't trust anyone" I surely let my guard down quick and don't even realize. If there is that prince charming out there, I highly doubt it. Cuz every guy I've been with has been the total opposite, no switch that, not every guy(at first). Is it me??? I'm really wondering, I'm emotional and selfish, a little self-centered, I can be a **** most of the time and a little annoying(no, maybe a lot) And I can truly say I play too much(lol)(damn those aren't good things at all) maybe it is me, but I'm trying to change my ways, Really, I'm a completely different person than how I was when I was seventeen…I was so naïve and stupid (well maybe I'm still a little naïve). damn I just want somebody who actually gets me, that I don't have to fake with(in more ways than 1), I can be myself, My silly ass self, aha, I think I actually found that person, but their long gone in the wind now, and I have to move on I guess, but ever since that person, I haven't found anyone to match him, like, have you ever been so in love and when u were in love u didn't realize how you felt about them until they were gone and every person after them was a total****ead and it just had u wondering "Damn, will I ever get that feeling back, ever??" not necessarily saying u want that person back, but just that feeling of somebody really, sincerely…loving you and u really, sincerely loving them back. I want that back so bad...That's how I feel…

I settle a lot for people that I don't really like that much just to feel that sense of comfort, or a sense of somebody wanting me. U ever known someone that people pay close attention to, and someone is always saying good things about them (mainly about their looks) but deep inside they feel the complete opposite, yea that's me. When I get compliments and sh*tlike that from…complete strangers, is it supposed to make me feel some type of way???, no, it doesn't matter to me, because they don't matter. It only matters from the people I care about or have some feelings for and usually I don't get the response from them I want so I settle for someone else that will. Most people say Females like me usually do away with that stress and the "OMG I can't believe u have" low self-esteem with sex or alcohol, and maybe….that's what I do…I don't know. Sometimes how u look is your downfall…the way I look helps me and it destroys me at the same time, I get him by his attraction to me, I lose him because he thinks "Yea, she's attractive so she must be sleeping around" or "Yea, she's attractive, guys are giving her attention, so she must be cheating"

I hate when people swear they know me!!!

So done with "playing the field"

I have this wonderful phased to everyone else that " OMG, I have all these guys and don't kno wat to do with them" And U kno wat...I'm scared to say it but I do...but I don't want it anymore...

I just want something real…

And every girl that says she doesn't want luv is lying


i like all music by bluegrass

idk never really had a frist date. truth b told