Girl next door seeks boy next door, not a 300 lb.smelly, short, hairy man named Festor with a space between his two front teeth that's trying to lure me to his trailer where he will hold me captive as his sex slave. I don't want to go through that again. You must be willing to tower above this 5' 3 1/2" midget.
I used to do modeling but no more...frankly I just don't have room for any more planes or cars under my bed.
"I know you two are technically married but that does not mean that they have to live here".
"Dale, I think it's time for a change. For both of us".
"Dad, we're men. That means a few things - we like to sh*t with the door open, we talk about pu****, we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That's what we do, and now that is all wrecked".
"We literally have never done any of those things".
"Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and she grabs me by the weiner.
Dr. Robert Doback: "Shut the **** up!"
Guess what movie those lines are from
A few of my fav things:
Cappuccino with EXTRA whip, Grapes, Lean Cuisines, sees candy. Jack Black, Will Ferrell, BOATS AND HOES! TUPAC!, Lil Wayne, SPM. SEWING, Rhinestones, fabrics, patio string lights, MP3's, shoutcast.com, Movie2k.com, Ebay.com, Ruby glass, Amberina Glass, Drew Barrymore, Leslie Nielson, Mr Bean. Airshows, curtains, diamond earrings (hint hint). Mirrored decorations, sequins, lady bugs. Tom Hanks, get smart, I Dream Of Jeannie, Puppies. Pottery barn Furniture. Silk Flowers, butterflies, Dragonflys, fake fur, incredimail, photoshop, googlemaps, iphone, voip, anything that flashes or lights up. fancy paint jobs on cars, fancy rims that sparkle. Rocks, Shells, Plants, Snowflakes shaped like stars, fireflies, Frogs, Flowers on my toe nails and the smell of the Redwood Forest. Perfume, Glitter, external storage and FRYS electronics store. Caramel, chocolate souffle, paninis, pancakes, cracker barrel, roosters, ducks, geese. Printing postage online and lying about the weight. Valentine's day. Silent ring phone feature. Goatees. playing darts, cycling, New York, Towing capacity (just kidding) making candles, Cinnamon graham crackers and milk. Making oatmeal cookies with raisins and candy apples. making up stupid songs and singing them to my friends Oh and swedish fish and PEANUT BUTTER AND MILK CHOCOLATE GHIRARDELLI BARS! Did I say Cycling???
A few of my Unfavorite things: tomatoes, attorneys, spiders.
(Sorry if I have offended any tomatoes or spiders).
Hip Hop: 50 cent, Akon, SPM, Lil Wayne, Chamillionaire, 2pac, Outcast, Pitbull, Cypress Hill, Chris Brown, Geto Boys, Xtreme, Control Machete, Ice Cube, Dre Dre, Dyablo, T.I. Timbaland, Bone Thugs, Alicia Keys, Flo-rida, Eminem, Wycleff Jean, Mana, Enrique Iglesias, 2short, Baby Bash, Birdman, Bubba Sparks, Busta Rhymes, CAnnibus, Deliquent Habbits, Crime mob, DJ Drama, Gucci Mane, Immortal Technique, Kemo the Blaxican Keyshia cole, Korupt, Pharrell, Psycho Realm, Rhianna, Mack 10, The Game, (I know plenty about classical, rock, 80's etc , I'm just tired of it).
Sister Encarnación: Where is your robe, Ignacio?
Nacho: It was... stinky. But these are my recreation clothes.
Sister Encarnación: They look expensive.
Nacho: Thank you... (Turns toward Sister Encarnación) I mean, yes! They may have the appearance of riches.( But beneath the clothes, we find a man. And beneath the man, we find, his...nucleus.
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