ME
I'm new at this internet dating thing, and it's, to say the least, different from IRL. But I want to give everything a shot before I die, so here I am. After all, I don't want to look like JOHN MCCAIN LOL1234567890!@#$%^&*() EPIK LULZZZ *looks around for high fives from douchy frat boy friends*

I'm a reserved man and I can get along with most anyone. I like laughing and having a good time and I tend to make others laugh. I'm somewhat sarcastic, which can be a detriment at times. People tend to think I'm shy or quiet. While that may be true when I'm around people I don't know well, I'm very talkative around people I've gotten to know. I can be convinced to go to bars or similar establishments, but I prefer environments where I can actually hear and be heard. I have some fairly strong opinions and I love to talk politics and/or history. Major damned turnoff on a date, but what can I say? Please don't contact me if you're a libertarian. I ****ing hate libertarians and I fantasize about Ayn Rand being shot by Bolsheviks.

My goal currently is to be accepted into law school and be a state prosecutor like my uncle. Currently, though, I work as a freight hauler. I suppose you'll ask "but Steven, you have a B.A. in History. Why are you humping it on the loading dock?" Well, because the commute is short and the pay is good. Because it's a very physically demanding but satisfying job. Because I like the people I work with. Because it's unionized. I just love everything about my job.

Musically, I like rock and some metal. I especially love music from the 80s - Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Red Chord, ACDC, Krokus, Guns N Roses, Metallica and KISS. I'm also getting heavily into Eastern European rock music, thanks to my good friends Vladimir Prodanovic and Dule Jelen at the Serbo-Croatian language club. My favorites are Elektricni Orgazam, Oleg Kvasha and Kapela Warszawa, who came into town earlier this month. Good times!


YOU
Here are some very clear personality markers for when you should consider not messaging me. No, these are not unreasonable in the slightest. If you think they are, that's because you're on the list.

+If your photos include one of you pimping your car, one of you posing with rifles, and one of you in front of a mirror holding your phone camera and looking down at it speculatively.

+If your profile contains a version of the following phrase: "I'm just an all 'round nice gal who likes to chill, hang out, and have a good time". ....No one knows what that means. It is an empty statement, and you have an empty perspective of yourself if that is your best personality summary.

+If you feel the urge to write me a message saying, "Hey I think we have a lot of the same interests and we could like each other" but when I go to your profile I will see the exact opposite of everything I like.

+If you use the words Like, Dawg or Dude on a daily basis.

+If you don't care to use grammar.

+If your favorite movie is the Boondock Saints.
(If you have to ask, then you're on the list. I don't think these are difficult concepts to grasp, folks.)


US
I tend to steer clear of profiles that say one or two sentences and then prompt me to "email for more". It's not efficient, and I don't believe in writing a mound of inquisitive letters to folks I know nothing about. The logic here is this--If you don't find yourself interesting enough to write about, why should I? No, I am not saying fill your profile with nonsense. Just please have more than two sentences.

Bust some stuff up, joy ride, wander aimlessly around a new city, drink, climb trees, order pizza delivery, debate the existence of aliens in far off nebulae, and then sneak into your neighbor's hot tub.