I have only been back in the states for about 18 months after 20 years in europe. I realize that by joining a dating site (again!) I have probably hit rock bottom (again!), but I hear this one is free...And after what happened the last time I got involved with someone off a (paying) dating site, I am no longer prepared to throw good money after bad!

I am a college teacher and a (proper, published) writer. I am fun. I am irreverent. I like drinking. I sometimes smoke. I have never done yoga in my life and see no reason to start now. I don't like sport. I like laughing at stupid things. I usually date highly unsuccessful people with crushingly low self-esteem....But I'd like to put a stop to that. I like art and movies and watching tv. I don't like walks in the park. I have four tattoos. I will not (absolutely not) accompany you to the gym. If you have a motorbike, I could ride on the back of it. I have an english accent, but I am totally american (don't worry! No 'green card marriage' needed this end). I do not like 'relationship dramas'. I am not 'princessy' (although if you'd like to treat me like a princess, that would make a welcome change). I like kissing. I like cats. I don't take myself very seriously, but I don't mind if you do.

What I am not looking for:
'business-men' types.
People with no hair.
People who are 'conservative'.
People who are over, say....50.
People who are dorks (but nerds are okay)
people who like genesis (the band).
People who like genesis (the bible chapter)
people who haven't been to college ('the university of life' only counts if you're a habitual prison inmate....In which case, that's okay).

You are:
quite trendy.
Quite funny.
Very smart.
Quite artsy.
In possession of a full head of hair.

You are not:
mourning over some past, failed marriage.
In possession of 'commitment issues' (hey...Don't get your 'commitment issues' out until talk of 'commitment' even happens. You can get them out after that...But don't jump the gun!)
unaffectionate.
Living with your parents.
A craig's list killer.

Please, please, please don't message me if we have nothing in common (ie: if you are a bald businessman who is into sports or some athletic, gym-obsessed, healthy-living type) because you'd absolutely hate me.

On a first date I like to drink, smoke, chat, and maybe do some light kissing-to-moderate kissing.