I hate self summaries. Feels like I am the new kid in school (which I kind of am, just moved to the metromess), but here we go in a nutshell. I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice...bare-handedly. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat/cold retention. I translate ethnic slurs for refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time inefficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row, just because I can. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike percussion playing skills, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Colombia. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass kazoo, I was scouted by the Mets to be a scout, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby**** and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a toaster and a microwave. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have not yet finished Super Mario Brothers 3.

I'm a very sarcastic individual. It is better to take me with a grain of salt. I also march to the beat of indifferent drums. I am very political and love to debate. I'm college educated...hence I attended college and performed well earning the degree of my choosing. I think way outside the box...more above it and way far to the left. I am shy and nervous around new people until I figure them out. My worst habits include biting my nails when I am nervous, smoking (I have cut it down to 2 lighters a day), saying things that people take offensive (I'm honest and people confuse that with being smug), and being indecisive. I do have a heart of gold, and spend some of my time helping people and animals in need. I have a grotesque fetish and fascination to anything Volkswagen. Basically, I am an old lost soul, a rebel without a cause, an independent thinker, an anti-authority figure, and am definitely living in the wrong time period.

By the way, I work part-time in a head shop on the weekends, yes I am very 420 friendly and yes I am extremely political about it. I do not understand the government's stance on prohibition...It didn't work well in the 1920s either. Some seem to think people who smoke do not have goals...well if thats the case I guess I won't finish my MA in History with a 4.0 gpa, nor will I finish my teaching certifications. It's been proven that it is safer than alcohol...Just throwing that out there, trying the whole honesty thing.

I'm really good at being indecisive and difficult. I am also good with History, writing, and debating. Friends say I am best at persuasion. I make great points and back them up with powerful arguments and quotes. I've been told I could argue the Devil into retiring. And I'm constantly asked when am I running for political office. We'll see. I don't think society as a whole is ready for me yet. I'm also good at bargain vintage shopping, but there is definitely room for improvement

Favorite books....can't really narrow that down to any particular books. I mainly read History/Non-Fiction, anything dealing with Military History, Women's History, Colonial History, and Texas History. I also read alot of the Classics. Hemingway, Twain,****ns, Vonnegut, Huxley, etc. My favorite authors of all-time are Hunter S. Thompson and Jack Keroauc.

Movies - Don't watch many movies. I get bored easily. But I can sit back and watch classics and any old black and white war or western movie. Some of my fav movies are Dazed and Confused, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Where the Buffalo Roam, Blow, The Thin Red Line (which is an excellent anti-war flick by the way), Big, anything with Tom Hanks, Woody Allen, Charlie Chaplin, Denzel Washington, Johnny Depp (besides his stupid Disney pirate movies), James Dean, Jimmy Stewart, Humphrey Bogart, Gary Cooper. I'm hard to please in this category, but I avoid anything Will Ferrell, Seth Rogen, Adam Sandler. Just don't think they are funny. What happened to intelligent comedies?

By the way, I seldom if hardly ever watch television. Unless its the news or my teams. I am a huge basketball and football fan. (I am a Mavs fan but I hate the Cowboys).

Music - HA! Anything and everything. I have about 500 gigs on itunes, 2500 CDs, and over 2000 records. I range from any Jazz, Classical, to Country, Rap, and Rock. Mainly I listen to Indie, Oldies and Classic Rock. Especially obscure bands from the 60s and 70s, and roots music.

Food - MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM I will try any and everything new. Love Mexican. Its my favorite. I can't really eat breads so I avoid those. Damn Irish genes.

Goals - Working towards a Master's degree in History and Library Sciences. Museum work or teaching history is where I want to be eventually. I free-lance write when I have the time. I also have about 20 book ideas, we'll see what I do with them. After college, I somehow got into the banking industry even though my degree is in History and English with a minor in Political Science. I still say I was drunk at the interview, (actually my guitarist was the hiring manager).

We would plan a covert operation against a local bakery and hold the cupcakes and cookies hostage. I like cupcakes and cookies... Or if that does not sound fun (I don't see how it couldn't, who doesn't like cookies and cupcakes) dinner, drinks, coffee, maybe a nice walk with the doggie, and chat...can't get to know someone if you aren't talking.