"My name is Michael, and I'm a recovering parent..." LOL ! I would like to meet a single parent / empty-nester like me, and, after we get to know each other (they say it takes 6 months -- what do you think?), become a partner in parenting with "the one"... I can't deny it: I used to aspire to achieve as a builder, an environmentalist, a writer -- and have -- but I never would have imagined that being a dad / stepdad would be the most fulfilling "job" of all!

My motto is, "It's never too late to have a happy childhood!" There's something about having my kids around that keeps me, if not young, then feeling and thinking young. I visualize how life could be with "my one and only." -- and my expanded "reconstituted" family... I know, having had the chance twice in this lifetime already, that caring for a family can be sometimes painful, and means sacrificing our own pleasure and comfort much of the time -- but I can't think of anything more rewarding...

Having been married twice, for 17 and 6 years, what have I learned? Well, you've got to be each others' "biggest fan" -- cheering and being there when they're winning or losing, rain or shine... And to keep things exciting you need a "spark generator" -- separate lives where you grow -- and then get together as renewed human beings with some new energy to bring to the party...

Re relationships, of all I've read and heard (and agonized over) one writer (Sternberg) seems to have come up with a good recipe:

1. INTIMACY! -- sharing our real selves, truthtelling at its ultimate -- and beyond words, going places and doing things together, and revealing our true selves...
2. PASSION! -- you know when it's there, and you know when it's not -- "Love is friendship that catches fire!" -- well said!
3. COMMITMENT! -- for me, being a one-woman man -- fidelity and embracing "mental monogamy"!

I have a love-hate relationship with "online dating." It can be weird and feel unnatural -- or it can be almost magical, instilling powers akin to x-ray vision, and feelings of hope for humanity.

I abhor the tedium of long "pen pal" exchanges. I can be quite expressive, and, I've been told quite entertaining to read. But it's all backwards -- let me write you volumes once we meet and connect at the heart level! What about talking instead ? Well, I've also been told I "give good phone" -- yes, wit and humor do relieve the tension of two strangers trying to carry on a conversation -- but no body language, no non-verbal cues, VERY unnatural, don't you think?

After some five dozen "first dates", I reflect on the pain and pleasure I've experienced. I've been smitten 5 times, into 5 "long term relationships" -- we went "monogamous" until, well, we determined "individually or severally" that it wasn't meant to be. You may scoff at the notion that an LTR could be over in a few months, or weeks, or, well, my shortest was a mere 4 days. But when both parties express online they want "long term" -- as opposed to "hanging out" or "having someone to go places with" that's LTR in my books!.

I'm ready to suggest what works (romantic dinners, with a stroll after) and eschew what doesn't (meeting and going for a walk, piano bars, and those wretched "coffee dates").

The dinner-for-two approach in a place with some atmosphere can "catalyze" a connection, nurture and give it a fighting chance. But a fly-by "let's check each other out" is enough to suppress any incipient chemistry, especially when you take this "fast food approach to romance" in an "acoustically live" environment -- with lighting so bright you could perform brain surgery ... I rest my case, your honor!

So, Milady -- spicy ethnic cuisine tomorrow night -- how does 7:30 sound?