Tinky Winky (OR NOT)OK.Here goes,sell myself (illegal if done in public),What am i...well human,which already has all your pulses racing i know,funny(as in ha ha,not peculiar),Love my days off doing nothing,which means i admit to being lazy,(DOESN'T MEAN I SPEND HALF MY LIFE IN MY PJ'S WATCHING TELE AND EATING ALL THE PIES)yes i work hard and aspire to one day be able to hire a butler,housemaid and a stenna stairlift.My idea of fun in no way includes wearing a parachute,snorkel or bungee rope,i'm a simple girl...not that sort of simple,i like walking, sunny days,pub lunches,picnics,holidays,eating,dancing,music,socialising,talking,spending time with my fab kids and fab friends who are so important to me,don't worry,i don't get them to physically rate you with a score sheet.and i'm a typical female,i take ages to get ready,i read bella and heat,and no i can never find the bloody car keys.I've been about a bit,(NO NOT IN THAT WAY)lived in Germany,Canada and all over UK.Would like to meet someone from planet earth,with a pulse and a sense of humour(and theres a few of you do,why else would you pose topless in your sunglasses next to your super dupa car).I love any music that gets my feet tapping,can't usually do much with my arms as they're restrained by my straight jacket.Please Please don't message me if your a cross dresser,i only share my dresses with my mates not my partner.
I've been asked about my pics as my hair is different in all of them.As i said i am a woman,i grow it,cut it,grow it again,colour it etc etc.I currently have shortish hair as in my main pic.All the pics are from this year.God some men are so picky lol

When i ask my mates what can i say about myself they all say just be yourself,so then i asked them if i should mention my little blonde moments,like sitting in a traffic jam for 10 minutes before i realised it was in fact a row of parked cars,or the time i went on a date and accidently threw a stick for the dog with my car keys attached,which landed in the lake.They all said NOOOOOO.But hey,if nothing else im honest.:):)
I have 2 grown up chilren aged 27 and 25 who live with their partners and a 16 year old who too would love a housemaid,butler and stenna stairlift,who lives with me.
And if i look at your profile and don't say hi it's because you probably have some real weird hobby like knitting your own shreddies,but the chances are it will be because i'm a smoker and your not,but if you want to say hi please feel free,i am a really polite person and will always respond to all messages,However i am also honest so wouldn't mislead you in anyway,so if your big,fat,short,hairy and desperate then i'm not the one for you,thats not meant in an offensive way but hey,if you haven't seen your own willy for years what chance do i stand .

Depends what the weathers like,if it's a beautiful summers day i'll pull out all the stops,if it's a freezing,wet winters day you'd have to arrange it all and take a 50/50 chance i turn up,heres hoping i meet someone before october lol.
Update.ok make that November.

UPDATE.I HAVE JUST MET A LOVELY GUY,EARLY DAYS,FINGERS CROSSED.Thankyou to everyone for all your kind messages and the friends i've made in the few weeks i've been on here.Julie :)