Hopefully my headline caught your attention! Now you can look at my crappy profile!

My name is Matthew Perry. I like puppies. I don't like kittens. I'm random as sh*tand just when you think you have me figured out, I blow your mind. It's true. I've driven individuals to insanity. So how about this. If you like 3 of my interests, send me a message! It's easy as that. Dating sites, c'mon. Too much pressure there. I just want someone that I can high five with. Go for it. I promise I'm not that mean. Unless you make me mad, then maybe I am. Kthx.

Okay, uh, basically I just got out of a relationship and I'm just looking for friends to get a drink with or something sometime.

I work in a bar. I like hanging out with friends. I enjoy going out on weekdays since I work weekends. I dig watching movies and am a huge fan of Seinfeld.

I like to have fun and do random things. I have a "different" sense of humor which bothers some people.

And I'm fat. I don't care.

I have this OCD thing where when I go to the store, I can never get the first item off the shelf. I have to get at least the one behind it or further back. And when I drink anything out of a can, I have to wipe the tab off before I open it for fear of anthrax.

And children love me. But I don't love them. Bad joke.

I'm lame at writing these. Just send me a message if you'd like to talk.

A first "date"? Just hanging out. Getting a beer or something. I'm easy to entertain.

If I can meet someone who can quote Seinfeld or Saved by the Bell episodes word-for-word with me, we'd get along nicely.