We've all fallen in love before and some of us have done so several times. Sometimes our relationships last a few weeks, some last a few months, and some even last several years. But if you are reading this and you are single, that means all of your previous relationships have ended. So why did they end?

Well this is a question that receives several different answers as time goes by. The great thing about getting older is that you tend to see things more clearly the more time passes. At first, it's always the other person's fault. They were just a “jerk” and hid their real personality from you from the very beginning. However, as time goes by you realize that this just isn't true. Months later, after someone's pride has started to mend, they start seeing things differently and no longer place blame on the other person. Instead, they begin to believe that the breakup was due to the fact that they were “just too different”. Later, they start maturing in their views and believe that the breakup was due to poor communication. Finally, after a long time has passed, a new revelation come to some of us: we begin to realize that the one person that we didn't know well enough was....ourself. We only had a vague idea of what our true needs and desires really were when we first entered into the relationship. We knew that we needed to feel needed, loved, appreciated, etc. We also know that we wanted to feel supported and respected. Although this sounds like a detailed list of our needs and desires, it really isn't. Actually, this list only begins to scratch the surface of our true latent needs and desires are. Suppose that, over time, we began to discover more and more about what these things are. This would be a much better starting position from which to enter a relationship from, but there is still a piece missing. Knowing your own latent needs and wants is great, but if you want to find someone who you can meet your real needs, you will have to communicate them upfront.

Instead of taking this route, most of us think about what we are looking for in another person...if we could only find that one person will all the right stuff. So what is the “right stuff”? Well, for most of us it is someone who is smart, kind, honest, tall (if you're a woman), hot (if you're a man), had a solid career, an education, etc. But here again, these are vague and ubiquitous. Seeking qualities in another person is a flawed approach. Instead, it is better to find a person who LIKES YOUR QUALITIES. In order to do this, however, one must be very bold and blunt in letting the other person know what these detailed qualities are so that they can let you know to what degree they can meet your needs and desires. I think this may be the best way to prepare for a lifelong marriage.

Do arranged marriages between Indian couples last longer than American marriages? I wish I had the statistics, but I don't. Something tells me that they do, however. Here is a snipped from an article I read:

**Do arranged marriages work? Opinions tend to differ. Statistics place the divorce rate for arranged marriages much lower than those in the United States, where marriages out of love are the rule. However, research also shows that the pressure a married couple encounters from both society as a whole, and from the respective families, suggests that divorce is often not an option.
Can love grow out of an arranged marriage? Absolutely, and in the same way that love can grow in romance novels from a marriage of convenience. But there’s more to love than finding a suitable match. Love can grow for many reasons, from lust at first sight to friendship that develops over a long period of time. It’s impossible to predict whether a union will be successful. The only two people who can make it work are the bride and groom, the hero and heroine of their own story.**