Well, the first thing everyone does is look at the picture and ask themselves, "hmmmm, can I? Should I? Is that what I'm going to have to look at? Maybe this guy is at least funny. He can entertain me like a clown. I wonder if he makes any money. He doesn't look like he makes any money. I don't need him sleeping on my couch for six months - unless he's a musician. Musicians are hot. I don't know. It's either this guy or the loser with his shirt off standing in front of his sports car. Oh, what the hell. At least it's a free meal."

And now onto the program. Raised in Chicago, lived in LA for over a decade, college graduate, attempted writer, soon to be a master web designer, owner of an old, stinky cat, drive a car, attempt different forms of exercise, can sometimes juggle and see through walls with my x-ray vision, and addicted to the television show "Lost." (Really, what the hell is the smoke monster?)

And since so many women mention it in their profile, yes, I know how to spell and know the difference between their, there, and they're. Though I haven't a clue about where, wear, and we're.

Personality wise, I'm a pretty non-complicated, simple, laid back kind of guy. I try and cut the complications out of life that we tend to make for ourselves. In other words, I think before I act. Wouldn't it be great if everyone did that?

I'm a pop culture geek and a child-like adult (which means that I'm very responsible but refuse to become a bore).

I'll end this portion by apologizing to the women looking for lots of drama and for someone to fix. Sorry, but I'm pretty normal. At this point, I am what I am. And what that is, I don't have a clue, but I'm it.

I love how people talk about finding their soul mate and then describe exactly what their soul mate should look like. (Noticed how I used 'their' in the proper context.) If it's a soul mate, I didn't know we had a choice. (It's just an observation, but yes, I know what everyone really means).

As for this chemistry thing everyone talks about, well, I've never really been good at science. Hence, forty, single, and on Fish. I guess I should have paid closer attention in school.

The first date -- well, we know it's not really a date. It's a meet and greet where we get to sum each other up in two minutes and then either have a great time from that point forward or just a pleasant, time killing conversation for another 30 - 60 minutes until we can get the heck out of there.

And if we have a great time, then it's onto the first date. And we'll talk about it then.

Yay - end of profile.