because it keeps us climbing eternally upward towards some unattained goal.



Im legally divorced. my son (8)and I are from New York and have been here for a few months. I have sole custody of him (represented myself in court during trial by the way) so if youre a mom I can empathize with your hectic schedule... his mom is in NY and not involved so theres no drama. I want to add that my intentions for going to get my son were nothing but honorable and the female judge made the ruling based on what she felt was best for my son. If you have children they must be well behaved.... mine is.... most of the time. And under no circumstances do I yell or curse at my son.... you shouldnt (at yours) either. If you have to tell them more than twice to do something or do a count down..... they are not disciplined in my book. Other than that Im laid back, but fun, versatile, definitely a man of my word, work hard and get dirty in th eprocess sometimes, but clean up well, objective and opinionated, can talk about anything and Im a good listener... occassionally selectively (Hey, Im a guy) ;), a gentlemen 99.9% of the time, family oriented, not controling (as I said Im laid back), responsible, among other things that help me be good at what I do, whatever that may be. I also like working out(but no 6 pack here) but I dont expect you to. I just expect that you feel sexy. Coping skills, your degree of emotional intelligence and consistancy or lack of it are things I look at.

My thought process:

So you want to be swept off your feet (and bump your head), fall head over heels (and bump your head), have your breathe taken away (and possibly pass out... fall and bump your head).... and your looking for prince charming. Wasnt that what you were looking for when you were a (gullable, naive, irresponsible) teenager? Its interesting to see grown women relying on butterflies or lack of to help decide if 'hes the one'. Didnt you use that method the last couple of go arounds? Did it work? Well youre here right? As I said, interesting. Do any of you still beleive in santa and the tooth fairy too? Just playing.


Romance has nothing to do with what you are doing, eating, drinking and listening to because when there is real romance going on you wont notice nothing other than person youre with. Like the 20 minutes you have in the morning to spoon with your love before you have to get up and go to work.

Paying our own bills and taking care of our children among other things does not make us independent, it just means were responsible. These are things Im thinking we should be doing anyway if were adults... right? Fact of the matter is that all of us have some sort of support system that has helped us get to where ever we are in this point of life. If any one of us were drowning in a pool and didnt know how to swim I doubt very much anyone here would be talking about how independent we were. Instead we'd ask for help.... right? And how many times have you needed someone to talk to and listen to you, or asked for advice? We all have asked someone for help of some kind at one time or another just as weve given it. This would make us interdependent because we all count on somebody for something. And the fact that most of us are on here looking to love and be loved is just another example of something else were not able to do alone or...INDEPENDENTLY.... love and be loved. How many of us have tried to carry a relationship alone on our back..... didnt work out to well did it. Honestly speaking, the illusion of independence would make one less likely to give a relationship the time necessary to make it work. Why?...... because you dont need anybody....lol. Hopefully those of us who are still under the illusion of independence will come to a point where were not frightened of the vulnerabilty that comes with being interdependent.


Race is not an issue here

"Time is the mighty hand that rocks the cradle of progress, and nurses struggling humanity through the time in which it most needs protection against its own ignorance".

-Doesnt Matter

As for a date, it's not about what I'm doing but who Im doing it with.