Why it so difficult to describe yourself, when you know yourself better than anyone? Here am I, sitting at my computer looking into a blank space which yearns to be filled with sentences that are self discriptive.. Sooo hard...Well here goes and I promise to be sincere:

Young looking 41, divorced for 8 years, where 8 relationships have come and gone that weren't quite right. So I have decided to try the internet, where I am hopeful that at least one individual may respond and be truely genuine.

A mother of two boys now aged 16 and 19. The youngest still resides at home, whilst the eldest has joined the forces.

I work full time in a position that is demanding yet very rewarding and I love my role. When I am not working I love to walk, socialise with friends, watch DVD's with my son, go to the cinema and dance occassionally to let off steam. (just getting back into that)Amongst other things.

The photographs I have uploaded are recent ones. The only difference is that my hair is much shorter now...us girls like a change! However, I nhave been kind enough to add even those! What more could you ask for ;o)

I am intellectual, good conversationlist, fairly attractive for a 41 year old, and very much a kid at heart. I appreciate good quality food and can cook very well.

I would like to experience so much more in life, hopefully with a partner by my side. Would love to travel to South Africa and experience wildlife expeditions, learn and absorb from other cultures and throw myself into adrenaline based activities. All ideas welcome ;0)

I envisage living abroad in a few years, but anticipate that to achieve that goal I have to return to University to either train as a nurse or a Psychologist; the latter I began, but left due to commitments after my divorce. That way I will be self sufficient and have a profession which is widely recoginsed.

Idealy I am looking for an individual who can still recal how to be a true 'gentleman'. A caring, romantic soul with a good heart and a love of life. A person that is not afraid to feel or show emotion and can be open without fear that others would perceive them as less of man by doing so..

I am hopeful that this is not too much to ask and whoever you may be; whereever you may be; there is always a slim chance that you will find yourself on this site for the same genuine reasons. To reach out..... X I just feel that I haven't met the right one to blossom with. I live in hope that one day I will.

Additional info if your up to reading...

I look back to the words I originally wrote on this site. At that time, the words I used were mellow and accepting to all. However. how many of us out there would ever truly divulge ‘U & I’, as an individual, other than use words that we know would be pleasant to the heart and acceptant to all?

A few days ago my relationship ended. This was to be the same relationship that was on and off for many months. If truth be known, it was a culmination of conflicting emotions. No one was to blame.

I believe my emotions were the weakest. Which if he reads this he will acclaim that I in fact was the strongest. What I have learnt from a personal perspective, is that to be able to walk away and never look back, is on par, a likeness to weakest. I may forever be afraid to face onslaught in its demeaned infliction. I have many things still to learn.

So, this is me.. a ‘true’ portrayal of oneself.

I have given so much / love/ finances/ commitment/ to be in receipt of what I felt at that time to be true love.I failed drastically.

I failed not only on an emotional basis but also financially. I put my trust and my belief in others. I assisted others out of debt. It fell apart and I live today, single, to pay the consequences emotionally and finacially.

To this end I have always been truthful from the very start of all relationships. First and formost;

I am due to become bankrupt when I can accumulate the necessary funds and then a submission can be met. I have never asked for help with this from anyone and would never inflict my past naivety onto another.

I do not wish to be a burden or wish to have someone to ‘take me on merely’ because of love…and thus out of felt duty!!!

To merely understand who I am and believe in what I can eventually achieve and sustain in a true, sincere, passionate relationship is more paramount and the only type of relationship I could ever commit too..

If I could turn back the clocks and be the mother with assets and wealth gained from the latter husband.. then all would be well!!! But I let it all go to my demise.I can't gain that back.

That aside, I am an excellent cook, I can make love in unimaginable ways, I am tactile, sensitive and intellectual. I will run yur bath and bath you, then leave you to relax with a glass of chilled wine. Then dry you and smoother you on an evening.

I work full time and although I do not own my own home as an asset, as I rent…I can still afford, as a single mother to live and pay rent for over 500 pounds a month.! I am ME!!!! Truly me is all you see and what you get x

I have always rented - apart from when I was married and a home owner - and always worked/studied. I am worldly wise. My only fault is having believed I was ever in love and that anyone truly cared……………………….. Back to you whom ever you may be…and I will understand if you end the connection here. I am far from perfect. I AM ME! x

One date in particular I booked a full day paint balling and then finished off with a romantic evening meal in a lovely restaurant. That was going from one extreme to another. However, it was fun and the swelling of the welts (ouch) eased off by the evening, so I was still able to look glamerous! Not certain whether I would do that again..!
I am open to ideas though!