I am brutally honest, so this profile is not for the innocent little angel princesses.

Im not the type of person that is going to send my 'representative' to meet you. Its going to be me. I am not going to be opening every door for you and offering you my jacket if you are cold. If you're cold we are going to go somewhere warm, quickly. I will open doors if it makes sense to. I'm not going to break into a sprint to beat you to the door. I'm not going to open the right side door if someone is holding the left side door. I am not going to try and impress you.

I'm going to act like me, all the way.

Oh and by the way, beauty is common. Very common. If you think you are going to get me only because you are attractive, think again. I have been with plenty of pretty women. Most of you are neurotic and self absorbed. Most of you are just sliding through life on your looks because so many idiots lay down the red carpet for you. well fack that. I wont do it. YOU are nothing special if you have nothing worthwhile in your personality, or if you are a dingbat.

Those of you that contact me, don't pretend you are something you are not. If you are a ****, be a ***! Its not like I wont find out eventually. If you are a nerd, be a nerd. If you are a slut, be a slut.

About me? I'm kind of a jerk, and I say totally inappropriate things all the time. I look at women everywhere I go (but I don't leer) and I think a lot of my self. I have good self esteem, and it borders on an overinflated ego, but I like it that way, and if you don't? LOL who gives a shyt.

I'm not going to apologize for being me. A guy that likes sports and the occasional video game, that likes sex (lots of it) and is a little messy, and kind of thoughtless and inconsiderate sometimes (but on that special occasion will shock the hell out of you with something flamboyantly thoughtful that you will tell your friends about for months)

Im not Jason Biggs, Im Dane Cook.

If you want to shoot me an insult, go for it, but expect it to be returned in kind

Good luck ladies! Im rootin for ya!

(disclaimer: if you are offended by anything in my profile or this email, proceed directly to the store and purchase a sense of humor)

Anywhere you like.