Hey there. I am a single woman, looking for a single male to emotionally destroy. I prefer men that seemingly have it together—that way, when I leave the relationship, (which is inevitable) I can see the ruin in full spectrum. I’m 24 years old, but have the emotional maturity level of a ‘tween. I am liable at any moment to spontaneously combust, unable to control my emotional state. This tends to happen when I don’t get my way or see a Snuggles commercial on television. I drink like a fish, talk like a sailor, and can often be found dancing on the bar, puking into glove compartments, and may scream profanities at you in front of large crowds of people. There is a strong possibility that when we go out, we’ll run into one or several of my previous romps at the playground. Don’t be insulted if I take off with one of them. It’s not you, it’s me. (Shut up Abigail! I’ll tell him!) So, I need to mention that I have multiple personality disorder. In reality, there are only five of us, but every once in a while some others crash the party. Abigail says to say, “Hi.” She’s such a ****ing moron. I’m sorry, she’s really paranoid and wants me to say that she has a bad anxiety disorder and that stopping at red lights is a no-no. You’ll just have to run all of them when you’re with her. (Will you stop now? ****!) Anyway! Jackie is the only one of us who as the tendency to commit homicide. She’s only around on Sunday’s. So, we’ll have to take that day off. It’s really not that bad once you get to know all of us. Back to what I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted. I eat through a feeding tube. There’s nothing wrong with me, we just can’t agree on anything. We can go out to eat though. You just have to bring along a large, empty, seven eleven Slurpy cup and order several meals. I’ll just chew the food for the flavoring and spit it out. I’m sure you won’t mind. I’m an animal lover and tend to wounded pigeons. So, at least once a week, we’ll have to locate pigeons with a variety of stumps, diseases and etc. They are really cute. You’ll love them. Oh, and I prefer men that aren’t insulted when I read this months Cosmo during sex.


Seriously,

I love glitter, sparkles, shimmer, and all things that are shinny-distracting objects. Ribbons, yarn, bows and all things that small animals like to play with. Personal interests include happy endings,babies, band aids, bumper cars,blankies,and sappy stuff ! Love the Starbucks. Love the Tink. Hate the Floyd. Love the Pink. Love singing alone in the bathroom mirror, staying up past my bedtime, and asking too many questions. Dancing in the rain is a priority and I especially love the weather that allows you to wear a skirt with a long sleeve shirt. I don't subscribe to the theory that people can't change. I'm general optimistic and enthusiastic. I'll try almost anything once. Important.. I hate marshmallow peeps (yes, as in the festivous Easter creation), and Styrofoam. Christmas morning with Styrofoam is the most difficult day of the year, it's like nails on a chalk board for me. I like reading but love being read to. I'm low maintenance material wise, but high maintenance emotional wise. If anyone can understand that...

What I’m doing with my life
In college, English Major.

I’m really good at
Painting guitars, dancing, telling funny stories, taking pictures, not sleeping, and being compassionate. Believing. I'm the best at holding babies, entertaining children, and counseling teenagers. Good at re-arranging my apartment, being a girlfriend, and going to weddings. Crying...I rock at crying. I'm also great at being thoughtful. I tend to spill stuff, misplace stuff, and of coarse lose stuff. I scratch cd's REALLY well. I'm great at Making friends, cleaning up men and winning over the love of my boyfriends parents. I also rock at spelling errors. Which is odd since I'm an English major.

The first things people usually notice about me
My freckles and figure.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food
All books written by, Frank McCourt, Nicolas Sparks, andMarianne Williamson. No David by David Shannon. The Hungry little caterpiller!!! and My many colored days- Dr. Suess

As for movies, I don't want to be judged by my sappiness... Although I do enjoy movies about submarines. You can not take me to see a scary movie. I scream loud and people become agitated.

Music: Sting, Norah Jones, Journey, Missy Higgins, Guns and Roses,Tom Petty, Billy Joel etc. Anything. I love music. I listen to it all.

The six things I could never do without
Music, Art supplies , Hope , love , children, and my best friend Gina.
On a typical Friday night I am
Church! Im kidding...