Hello potential date/lover/girlfriend/wife. Notice I didn't say mistress or girl on the side. This is because I'm single. Lucky you. From my perspective, that is the most important quality to have on a dating site, singleness. Secondly, and second most importantly, you will not see any pictures of me without my shirt or next to my awesome car or without my shirt next to my awesome car. Thirdly, these words you're reading are assembled using proper grammar and punctuation as my guide. I use them like Columbus did through the West Indies. I make this point because all of you grammar Nazis should feel a sigh of relief that you have finally found your man. I also say this because I'm pretty sure that POF is full of terrible spelling, poor sentence writing, non shift-key using clowns who are just looking for an intimate encounter or, as we like to say in the locker room, a bang. For this reason, I wonder why I can't seem to get a date from this site. Is it my bald head? I'll grow hair for you. Is it the tiger? That's not my pet. You won't have to clean its cage.

I also remain confuse by my lack of "production" on this site because I have a good career. Notice I said career and not job. I have a career and it's a good one. I enjoy going to work. I get to tell people what to do. I get paid handsomely for this allowing me to endlessly splurge on my potential date/lover/girlfriend/wife assuming that someone would f'ing write me or write me back.

I've noticed that many of you appreciate some sarcasm, wit and humor in your bald men with good careers. Once again, I'm filled to the brim with these attributes. The idea that we would go to dinner and be faced with awkward silences is simply something I can't fathom. I can keep a conversation going and can chat you up on 80% of the topics under the sun. I dare you to test me. Make it obscure. See if we can't talk about it.

Not that I'm daring anyone to date me. It's quite the opposite. I make people happy. They enjoy spending time with me. You would to if you'd stop passing my profile without saying hello.

I like to have fun. I'm all for coversation over drinks. That can be fun, but I'd prefer something with built in fun. Bowling. Pool. Speed boat ride. A game. Cooking class. Something where we can get to know each other and play or learn something. I think that helps create chemistry.