ENJOY TODAY! Friendship first - but looking for long term some day...........

I'm caring, kind, confident, gentle, funny, intelligent, direct & honest and lots of fun! I want a man who is comfortable enough with himself so that I can be strong, but who is the one I turn to when I need strength to lean on. He should hold me when I cry and I will hold him, too. But honestly, I laugh - a lot - so expect me to usually be smiling! In the middle of a storm - I'll be dancing in the rain and looking for the rainbow.

I can plant a garden, cook & bake, sew clothes and help build a room from studs out (except electricity).

I don't sit still well! I like to dance but need a partner! I like to walk and hike local mountain paths. I do conditioning work with a high school lacrosse team. I like to travel and I love my job!

All of my friends enjoy life completely - laugh a lot - like themselves - have interesting and intelligent conversations. I would love to find a man like that! My fairy tale is finding a partner whose life is great like mine, but it would be even better if it could be shared. Home should be a great place, filled with peace, joy and love!

for fun: Hike, walk, dive, sail, fly. Comfortable everywhere. silk & heels at the theater to cotton & jeans on the couch with a book. Football fan. Always ready to travel.

favorite hot spots: BEACH! - love Port Antonio, Jamaica. like mountains - especially in the fall. waterfalls & streams. favorite Irish pub close to home. love sunrise, sunset and watching the moon rise.

favorite things: like harmony in music & in life. Not a big tv girl-but NCIS, JAG, House, Monk & Psych. I enjoy shrimp in the FL gulf, fresh lobster in Maine, corn & tomatoes in TN, wine in No. CA, tortillas in Mexico & festival bread in Jamaica.

last read: "Eat, Pray, Love" Reading "Three Cups of Tea" now and it's excellent.

My thoughts on relationships.................
I believe that often when someone "needs" to be in a relationship, something is out of balance with them or their life and they are looking for someone to "fix" that. It could be anything from just being lonely late at night to worrying about financial things or children and wanting help with the burden. I think there are more needs than there are actually humans (since we each have several), so reasons galore.

The problem is that no one can "fix" someone else (or save them). We each have to face our own weaknesses and challenges and walk through them to overcome them. Often when someone "needs" to be in a relationship, I think this is what they're actually hoping for - someone to make their situation "better". As humans, we will only disappoint someone that is looking for us to "save" or "fix" them. We can't accomplish this (nor should we try). This type of relationship is not a healthy partnership but a co-dependency - out of balance.

My opinion is that it is best to be in a good place alone. Comfortable being by yourself. (this doesn't have to mean you never feel lonely, just that you've learned to adjust in a healthy way). Able to handle the big and small things that come along.

Yes, sometimes being in a relationship may make some things "better" BUT in the real day-to-day struggle of life it is easier for some people to stay alone (depending on how they are wired for connectivity). You simply make your own choices & decisions and never have to consider another person. and lets face it, we don't even like ourselves all the time - how can we possibly like someone else every second of every day? Not a realistic expectation.

However, I personally believe that we were created by God to be relational, first with him and secondly with each other. And I, of all humans created, am a relational person. I thrive on connection and this is true at work, in my family & friendships and certainly in a relationship.

Though I am very strong and thriving alone, I would like to share my life. So I continue to ask God for a wonderful man. I want to be under his protection and leadership. I don't think this makes me less of a woman, I think it puts me in the role I was created for. It gives me a partner who can give input on my myriad of ideas and the many things we deal with in life, a best friend who is there to enjoy adventures and to simply hold my hand - to laugh and cry with each other, and a lover to wrap his arms around me in passion, gentleness and fun.

I'm looking for this man (list in no particular order - I want it ALL!): passionate, confidant, strong, gentle, good sense of humor, tender, great parent, honest, serving, trustworthy, caring, considerate, godly, respected, hard working, open, humble, strong love for family, willing to communicate.

He should enjoy activities both inside and outside (no constant couch potato for me). He should like the beach and the mountains. He'll want time alone for us and time with our friends and family - a good balance of both.

and he must make my heart melt when he kisses me.

You see, this is a description of me - who I am and what I'm about and I'm looking for a shared journey. I am more than willing to compromise on all the small things in life but I won't compromise who I share my life with. I'm at a point where I know exactly what this man should look like (not physically - but emotionally, intellectually & spiritually) and it's non-negotiable. I refuse to settle for less. I would much rather be alone throughout my life than be with the wrong person.

and I only would want to be with a man whose heart melted for me as well. I would never want him to feel he had "settled" either!

A balanced relationship - spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally - healthy.

I like many things - so I'm very open. From watching the sunset then the moonrise while we talk quietly to coffee, drinks or dinner. I enjoy meeting new people and highly value my friends - so maybe you'll be the newest one!

The "who" & the conversation are much more important to me than the "where" but I would want to see if we connect - intellectually, physically, emotionally.