My hobbies consist of shoplifting at Bloomingdale's, driving 45 in the left lane on 95 and talking loudly on my cell phone in restaurants. I like this site because the POF Gods don't censor. You can say something like you support all humanitarian efforts by NAMBLA and it gets published. Or your hobby is stomping bunnies in the basement or making souffles out of crack cocaine and there it goes, right up on your profile page. Bada bing. Just imagine if television was that way; then I'd start watching again.

Sorry for my primary photo being blurry. The person who took the picture was a bit lit. I am actually 55, I look like I'm 95, have the fitness of a 35-year-old and my attitudes are still pretty much like they were when I was 25. Make sense? When you've got a gene pool like mine, it does. My dad is going to be 90 in a week and he's on safari in Nairobi, if that helps explains things better. ( All of my photos were taken in the last year. )

Proceed with caution: If you own a copy of Sarah Palin's "Going Rogue" you and I will never tango, much less even speak. And if you listen to Rush on the radio or even KNOW how to spell Glenn Beck's first name, we're history before we even got started.

Puh-leeze....I will not respond to 30-somethings. I'm nobody's Shoogah-Mama, OK?

What I do for a first date? Well, first thing is I usually get lost if I'm meeting someone in an unfamiliar place. That really sets the tone for the evening because then the guy's sitting there in the restaurant trying not to hate me before he's met me. Then after I sit down I usually pop my bra and adjust my glasses, which the guy will either find cute and sexy or disturbing.

After ordering a glass of wine I'll start babbling incoherently, which then leads the poor guy to wondering if perhaps prescription drug abuse isn't a problem. By the second glass of wine I'm exhibiting an odd nervous tick, mild Tourette's symptoms and his eyebrows are****d waaaay up into his hairline and he's ready to leave. And I don't mean with me.

But he's also still curious. Perhaps I'm just putting him on? The rack looks real enough, too, he's thinking. How nice, no silicone or botox either. She's a little odd but so what? She's not looking for a ring or marriage. Can I live with the Tourette's? Maybe she really knows her way around a mattress, that would be nice. Then, boiiinnnggg.....