Galileo was wrong, the world revolves around ME!

Here are a few reasons why I'm the best thing that'll ever happen to you...

I lie constantly. You’ll probably never even know my real name – but then, I'll probably never remember yours, so we’ll be even.

I never give gifts or sincere compliments, and I’ll never pay attention to anything you say.

If you’re really special I just might acknowledge you in public.

I’ll likely cheat on you with most of your closest friends; and they’ll never say a word unless they really want to brag.

None of this will matter of course because I'll know exactly what to say to convince you to give me whatever I want.

Don't worry though, I have a good heart - there'll be a handsome cash allowance so you can amuse yourself with clothes, shoes, hair extensions, pedicures or whatever else makes you happy in your little world.

Don't be nervous, you'll do fine.... Extra points if you bring a cute friend.