You will soon learn that I'm a raging egomaniac. I'm a cool, successful guy looking to share life with someone special. In the mean time, I'm not taking this too seriously. Until you get my attention, I will treat you like my bratty little sister. I generally play well with others.

LADIES: Here a few suggestions on your profile: 1. As most of you have figured out, a including a picture is essential (extra points if it really looks like you). You wouldn’t even be reading this if it wasn’t for my picture (or some random email I sent you). For those without pics – how’s that workin’ for ya? 2. This one’s not a big deal, but I don’t see why you include pictures of your pets (without you!). It’s a little like your brother telling you how the little league team he coaches is doing. It’s nice that you’re into that, but not sure it tells me anything useful. I had a picture of a cow up for a while, but no one got it. 3. You need to write something about yourself that isn’t cliché or a cop out. If you really have nothing to say about yourself that is unique, then copy someone else’s that is longer than two sentences. Think of it as “role playing”. Even write something random like “I can watch fish for hours … I think they can read my thoughts…” This is either another metaphor for surfing POF or you’re a little crazy. Either way, it’s interesting. Now a guy can email you and write something other than “You’re HOT!”, or “Damn, you fine/sexy” or “Can I git me some of dat?” or all the others in your deleted messages box. 4. Trying to qualify guys is cool and shows you are selective. But, lean in favor of positive attributes – honest, trustworthy, financially secure – and lighten up on the “no cheats”, “no players”, “no broke fools”, etc., which makes you sound like you’re loaded with baggage; and honestly, is a broke, cheat player really going to admit it?

“Opportunity doesn’t knock, it wanders around aimlessly waiting for someone to take control.”

P.s. If I send you a message that seems strange then I'm probably just bored and ****ing with you. But also maybe I'm interested, it depends on how funny your reply is.

Flying down Highway 1 in a black convertible listening to rock music and debating whether we should go to Half Moon Bay as planned, or just keep going...