Let me take the time to get this out of the way, because I think I speak for a large segment of men here on Plenty of Fish and those that are nearing 30 and not on a dating website.

When I was in high school, people wanted to cheat off my tests, because I was an egghead - a nerd, a geek - whatever term you want to use. The proper term was 'tool', because I could be used for whatever purpose required, and then placed aside or forgotten until needed again. I wasn't a hit with the ladies - in fact, I had a hard time getting a prom date and was a virgin until college. You know the type, I'm sure. Pudgy, ugly glasses, acne, didn't hang out with the right group of people - all of those lovely superficial characteristics that were so important while trying to get a diploma.

Those girls who cheated off my test wanted to date the captain of the football team - someone more attractive, more popular. Invariably, you got knocked up by one of these guys, who cheated on you/didn't want to be a father/married you and then divorced you three years later. Long story short, you're single and have a kid (or maybe more than one kid) and are now in your late 20s or early 30s and hoping to find someone like me.

I went to college, got a good job, made sound financial decisions and am now doing rather well for myself. The acne cleared up nicely, and the baby fat went away once I grew. Guess what I don't want? I don't want to be a stepfather to the child you had with Mr. Popular when you weren't smart enough to see me for who I was in the first place. I'm not content to be your seventh backup plan. I'm not happy with the idea of being sloppy thirteenths.

Long story short - ladies, you know who you are when you look in the mirror - you screwed up. I'm not here to pick up your life and make it better. The days of cheating off of my work are over.

Gentlemen who are in the same boat as I am - I hope you hear about this profile and it rings as true to you as it does to me. I hope you find what I'm looking for as well - a girl that isn't superficial, shallow, lying, gold digging, trashy, or has a brood of children. She's hard to find, sadly.

For those of you that thinks this stinks of bitterness and despair, it doesn't. I do not have a hard time meeting members of the opposite sex, and when I approach them, I do so without the vitriol I express here. What this profile is is a warning to those girls who are a few years younger and are about to make the same mistakes that I've talked about above, and maybe, just maybe, give Hubert Humperdinck over there in the science lab the shot he deserves. After all, in my line of work, the goal is to buy low and sell high.