| Sharp as a Marble :
When does the 1/2 off sale begin? |
| |
| City |
West of Winston North Carolina |
| Area |
United States |
| Ethnicity |
Caucasian |
| Sign |
Libra |
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Height | 6' 2" (188 cm)
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| I am Seeking a |
Woman
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Who is Looking
for |
Dating |
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| Smoker? |
No |
| Do you drink? |
Socially |
| Marital Status |
Divorced |
| Profession |
Target of Middle Management Hostility |
| Smarts |
Bachelors degree |
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|
| Do you want children? |
Prefer Not To Say |
| Do you do drugs? |
No |
| Do you have children? |
Prefer Not To Say |
| Do you have a car? |
N/A |
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| | About Me |
| | Wanted: One woman, or more if my schedule and patience can accommodate, who’s mentally unstable with lots of baggage to share a torrid love/hate relationship filled with drama, emotional distress and restraining orders leading to incarceration and/or therapy for the both of us...
(The sound of a phonograph needle dragging across a record)
Wait a second...Checking...What site is this again? Oh Crap!!! My Apologies...I thought I was editing my profile on PlentyOfBeyochs.
Grabbing what I think is the correct script. Ok...Let's hope I'm on the right page now. You may want to cover one eye just in case...
I'm not a whole lot different then everyone else on here. Anybody that puts themselves out there is searching for the same thing. Searching for someone that makes them laugh, that makes them smile, that makes them want to jump up and down like a fool on Oprah’s sofa. But I know that finding that one special person won't come easy or overnight. If the right individual came along, and the stars were all aligned and I was practicing correct feng shui, then possibly, everything would fall into place and lead to something more. Though at the moment, I'm only looking to find someone that is fun and is interested in pursuing a Friend/Dating relationship instead of diving head first into anything serious.
Me: My work involves supporting corporate and contract attorneys with litigation. The nature of the job, including occasional travel, can be stressful and hectic at times, but there still is time to catch up with friends. Just as a reference, for those that take their politics/religion way too serious, I’m registered as unaffiliated but lean to the left. Also, I am respectful of anyone’s faith, even if it's a belief in the Invisible Flying Spaghetti Monster, but I’m Agnostic. I have just the one child who attends college and lives away from home during the school year. She's a talented and intelligent young adult that I'm extremely proud of and even Sharper than Moi. As for interests, hopefully you can determine from those listed above, which are real and which are obscure insights of a slightly warped imagination. If you can't already tell, I’m playful, have no problem laughing at myself and enjoy making others laugh. I’m easy going, laid back, naturally curious and have great patience up to a point. Sometimes I’m outgoing while at other times I’m reserved. It all depends on the situation. I really appreciate someone with a sense of humor. If you can make me laugh, then you will definitely have my attention.
I’ll refrain from posting a lengthy list of likes/dislikes. I'm only looking to find someone with common interests who enjoys good conversation and if we click, discovering the many possible opportunities we can share together that’s fun and entertaining for the both of us. While I have no expectations of finding that special someone here, hopefully I’m fortunate enough to find the one worthy enough to have a snap shot taken of me proudly holding up my spectacular catch, or vise versa, and it posted on the cover of Field & Stream and us seeing what infinite possibilities exist. Preferably, I'm interested in someone who's smart, charming, funny, witty, and has a great sense of humor.
Disclaimer: No animals were tortured or injured in the making of this profile. Though my daughter's cats were a little miffed when I interrupted their browsing of the forums to proof read it for me. After finishing, they gave me two paws down and walked away seemingly disappointed. I’m guessing they lost all interest once they realized that there weren’t any “real fish” on this site. For those wondering, No, I'm not on any mind altering/controlling substances, and before you ask, nor has it been suggested that I be on any from anyone in the medical profession. Yes, I know how to behave in public. Usually the, "I'm counting to ten" gets my attention if I do act up. I also know when to be serious if the situation arises that warrants it. While I did take artistic license in the creation of this profile, it should be taken as it was intended and digested accordingly. I took the whoppertunity to have some fun in describing, to the best of my ability, what I’m searching for and who I am from a playful and light-hearted point of view. And, even though I am an equal opportunity offender, I'm harmless...Just me being me, moving forward, enjoying life and having fun.
Oh, by the way, rumor has it that every time someone makes me a Favorite, an Angel gets her wings. Until someone provides me with indisputable scientific proof to the contrary, I'll suspend all rational thought for a good cause and assume it's true.
One final insight...Us guys, are like a fine wine...
We begin as grapes and it's up to the right woman to stomp on us, hopefully while not in stilettos, until we mature and turn into something exceptional to have with dinner.
If you make it all the way to the end, survive the ordeal and oddly still have the urge to strike up a conversation, then you definitely should seek psychiatric help. But, feel free to say Hello while you’re waiting to make an appointment.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming/window shopping, already in progress...
May the holes in your net be no larger than the fish in it.
Good Luck and Happy Fishing!!!
Sharpie |
| | First Date |
| |
Am I really obligated to describe my very First Date ever??? Wow...That was such a long time ago. Let’s see if I can remember the details. If I recall correctly, it started off rather innocently, us both being a little nervous under the circumstances. But we both warmed up to each other, overcame the initial awkwardness, one thing led to another and the next thing I know......Her dad was yelling at me while chasing me down the street with a loaded shotgun. He zigged when he should have zagged, tripped over the neighbors barking dog chasing him and accidentally shot the tire of a passing vehicle when he fell. The driver, veering off the road, ran over a fire hydrant directly in his path, sending an awe-inspiring continuous spray of water into the nighttime sky, shorting out the power lines above and plunging the entire neighborhood into total darkness. Thus allowing me to escape during the ensuing confusion. Oh, the dog and I became the best of friends...me and her dad, not so much...
Hold on...The cats are interrupting me once again as I try to finish typing this. Sheesh...According to them, it appears I have misinterpreted the purpose of this section. That being the case, once I’m no longer grounded, anything mutually agreed upon and a little less unfortunate than the incident above that doesn't make the headlines of the local newspaper the following morning would be more than satisfying.
-------|||------- Put this on your
-------|||------- profile if you
---|||||||||||--- know someone that
-------|||------- died of old age
-------|||------- looking for their
-------|||------- perfect match
-------|||------- on a dating site
Mail Settings (To message Sharp as a Marble you MUST meet the following criteria.)
Female (you must have a pair of X chromosomes...sorry, no pre/post-op transvestites)
Age between (old enough to not be mistaken for my daughter) and (young enough to not be mistaken for my mother)
From within this Galaxy
Live on the Planet Earth
Must not have messaged users looking for inmate encounters or prison sex
You must have a pitcher (preferably of something cold, tasty and refreshing) to contact this user
Must not be looking for a Harley guy...but, if I run across an old Schwinn with a banana seat, you can have first dibs on the tail ornament position
Must not be looking for Brother Relationship
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounters of the 3rd Kind
Must not be looking for Activia Partner
Must not be looking for Waldo
Must not be married to the Mob
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Sharp as a Marble has 2 roses that can be sent. |
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