ok i drink so much my liver actually sends me death threats daily...i like to chase my neighbors cats with lawn mowers and weed eaters...i like fake blood and fake tits..i wear white cut off shirts with mustard stains on them daily..my mullet is out of whack and my el camino is my life..all i need is a girl to go with my blue tick hunt'n dog..yeeehaw
First Date
Im usually a nervous person so dont expect me to show up sober..so u probably should bring a extra pair of clothes cause i might vomit on or near u..ya that sh*thappens..i dont drive so u better...usually bring my dates to the bar where i can pass them on to the next fat loving pud pulling weirdo so i dont have to listen to u anymore..and if u stick around and can handle it..ill take u to ihop and try to convince u to touch my genitals under the table..just do it or ill make a scene..i hope there is actually someone out there that will respond to this lol