i am very mentally lazy. i would dig a ditch for you for 10 hours and you could spit in my face as payment - but don't ask me to do your algebra homework for an erotic massage.

THAT'S how mentally lazy i am.

so i quit my job so i could start interviewing people on the street about what they think about me so i have a better idea of what to write in this box and they all told me i need to go get a job.

i can drive, fold towels, and teach your kids bad words - but in an educational way. i can teach them how to say "**** off" in many different languages. i also know how to say, in italian "can i have more spaghetti, please, **** off?

usually people notice how tall, good-looking, and modest i am.

love all kinds of food. i like indian food but i think it's made with tranquilizers because i always have to fall asleep after eating it. and i'm not talking about just a nap, either. im talking TOTAL WEEKEND ANNIHILATION type of sleep. two day coma.

i just went to a restaurant. i went to the bathroom and there was ice in the urinals. what's that for??? i like to see the steam come up when i take a piss. that's how i know i'm getting enough iron.

i have "picture face" disease. that's why all my pics i have the same grin on my face.

i could be petting a dolphin or getting kicked in the nuts or chain-sawing a penguin to death and as long as someone has a camera - that's the face i will make.

i could never take a shower without being at least 40% naked.

i took a survey and it told me that i was "extremely" un-kinky because i won't do a threesome so that's kinda odd don't ya think? what's the point of a threesome unless one of them was in the same room just baking cookies or something?

would like to do something low-key that doesn't involve drinking.

if there's ONE THING i've learned from my past, it's that there's nothing worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to somebody without even knowing their name... where you two met... and WHY they are dead!

i like to have lots of fun with a laid-back style. dancing next to sweaty girls who dress skimpy in a club? not my style, never really was. take my lady out to experience the world together and see things for the first time as we get to know each other? maybe i am odd, but that sounds like a blast to me. i want to give my woman the world.

if you have ever been told that you are too much... you are probably my type. if you honestly want someone who will do everything he can to show you how much you mean to him... i am capable and searching for that.

sounds boring to 90% of the population but that's me...

thanks for reading my rant.

jack