Just been to Muslim birthday party,musical chairs was a bit boring but the pass the parcel went round quick
Oh no still not enough words.Right,have you tried those new Korean Meatballs?You really should as they're the Dogs B######ks..............BOOM BOOM
ps What can a Jelly Baby do that a Man can't?
Come in five delicious flavours..................That's a cracker
Ooops just noticed my age is wrong(must've been my feminine side coming out )stupid thing won't let me correct it.I'm really 73 ok I'm not but am 53 don't wanna be telling porkies
Looking for an insatiable Nymphomaniac who lives above a pub,6ft blond with 36 double f 22 36 figure millionairess who loves doing ALL the housework,diy & gardening with no family & dodgy heart.References required............... Failing any of that,just a pulse then

THE FINAL INSPECTION

The soldier stood and faced God,
Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining,
Just as brightly as his brass.

'Step forward now, you soldier,
How shall I deal with you ?
Have you always turned the other cheek ?
To My Church have you been true?'

The soldier squared his shoulders and said,
'No, Lord, I guess I ain't.
Because those of us who carry guns,
Can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays,
And at times my talk was tough.
And sometimes I've been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny,
That wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime,
When the bills got just too steep.

And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, God, forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place,
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around,
Except to calm their fears.

If you've a place for me here, Lord,
It needn't be so grand.
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don't, I'll understand.

There was a silence all around the throne,
Where the saints had often trod.
As the soldier waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God.

'Step forward now, you soldier,
You've borne your burdens well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell.'