I'M SEXY, FUN, SWEET, BLAH BLAH BLAH ALL THE THINGS YOU WANT TO HEAR. I DON'T ACT MY AGE UNLESS FORCED INTO IT. MORE LIKE A TEENAGER WHEN IN LOVE. MY BEST FEATURES ARE: MY FACE, HEAD, ARMS, LEGS, TORSO, TOP, BOTTOM, FRONT, BACK AND SIDES.

YOU'RE KILLING ME, WHY ARE ALL YOU GOOD ONES SO FAR IT SEEMS, DARN IT! NEED LOCAL, THAT DOESN'T CHEAT, NICE GUY & NORMAL, GUESS I'M ASKING FOR TOO MUCH ON HERE. HEY, I'M NOT NORMAL BUT THEY SAY OPPOSITES ATTRACT! I ALSO HAVE UP AND DOWN SYNDROME I HOPE THAT DOESN'T SCARE YA OFF.

I'M GREEK/AMERICAN. DON'T WORRY, NOT ALL GREEKS ARE HAIRY, I SHAVE FROM THE NECK DOWN, LOOKS LIKE BIG FOOT STEPPED OUT OF MY TUB. NEED YOU TO SHAVE THE HAIR OFF MY BACK THOUGH.

I'VE LIVED AND TRAVELED TO SEVERAL COUNTRIES. IN OTHER WORDS I'VE BEEN AROUND THE WORLD LOOKING FOR YOUR SILLY BUTT! GET OVER HERE WHERE YOU BELONG - WITH ME!

I HAVE ONE DAUGHTER WHO WE SHARE 50/50 CUSTODY OF WITH MY EX AKA MANURE FOR BRAINS. MY DAUGHTER IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN MY WORLD. I'LL FILL YA IN ON ALL MY OTHER KIDS AFTER WE MEET, THEY'LL WANT TO MEET "YOU" THEIR NEW DA DA TOO.

I LOVE MY FAMILY, FRIENDS, TRAVELING, ANYWHERE WITH WATER, GOOD MOVIES, DRIVES, SHOPPING. I'M NOT AS DUMB AS YOU LOOK EITHER, I'M TAKING YOU WITH ME SHOPPING!

I REALLY WANT TO MEET SOMEONE CLOSE TO MY AGE, NOT TOO YOUNG I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR SITTER. NOT TOO OLD I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR NURSE AND BECAUSE YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO KEEP UP.

WAS GOING TO BE A MAIL ORDER AMERICAN BRIDE BUT WAS AFRAID I'D END UP IN SOME CAVE IN AFGHANISTAN WITH NO ROOM SERVICE SO I SAID NAWWWWWWWWWW I'LL JOIN PLENTY OF FISH INSTEAD.
THERE'S ONLY A FEW MILLION PEOPLE ON THIS SITE SO I FELT SORRY FOR YOU AND JOINED, DON'T MENTION IT, YOU CAN THANK ME LATER.

YOU'D BE ONE IN A MILLION TOO, THE OTHER 999,999 DIDN'T MEAN A THING TO ME.

NO DORKS, WEIRDOS OR FREAKS, IT'LL BRING BACK PAINFUL MEMORIES OF MY EX. NO I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED, STILL CELEBRATING MY DIVORCE FROM SATAN & HIS EVIL FAMILY OF SERPENTS. RATHER DRILL A HOLE IN MY HEAD AND GO SWIM WITH REALLY HUNGRY SHARKS.

I'M NOT CALLED HOT LIPS FOR NOTHING EITHER, PUT NIGHTLY ICE PACKS ON MY LIPS SO THEY DON'T BLOW UP.

GOOD LUCK IN YOUR SEARCH, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MEET ANYONE AS CRAZY OR FUN AS I AM SO, YOU'LL BE BACK - LOL!

I JUST LOVE BLIND DATES! DON'T FORGET THE RING! PS I LOVE YOU XOXO HOT LIPS BIG L

COFFEE DATES DON'T WORK! I'M HUNGRY ALL OF THE TIME, GOT KICKED OUT OF AN ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET FOR EATING TOO MUCH. DON'T FORGET YOUR WALLET, MY PANHANDLING JOB ISN'T WORKING OUT.

FIRST DATE WE SHOULD MAKE OUT IN YOUR BACK SEAT, PICK LOCKS AT FORT KNOX, SHARPEN KNIVES WITH LORENA BOBBIT, PLUCK YOUR NOSE HAIRS, PUNCH EACH OTHER IN THE FACE AND THE ONE WITH THE LAST TOOTH IN WINS! I'M ALL OUT OF GREAT IDEAS.