After looking at the multitudes of beauties proffering their dating resumes in this virtual "joy book", it seems like there is a recurring request for simple honesty. Have some: I can be contumaceous and obstreperous at times. Want more? Okay then, I need a "minimum of 200 characters" anyhow.

My humor is wack. If you get offended easily, try the next profile now.

I like cats, but if you live alone and have more than two, keep looking. If you only have one or two cats, and you take them for walks in a stroller, or on a leash, do not wink at me.

If you have a flowery romantic fantasy about how your soul mate will find and complete you, put it in a script and send it to Hollywood. If it's good enough, it'll get made into a movie. Then, I can choose to watch the latest horror flick instead. You're movie would scare me more. That doesn't mean I'm not a romantic, only that I'm not sure I'd be able to complete someone. We are responsible for our own happiness, yes?

I laugh at myself. I laugh at other people. I'm going to laugh at you.

I play Shotgun when traveling in a group.

My friends and I have a "WOW!" card that we pass around. If you say something that makes someone else say wow, you get to keep the card until a new person surprises us. If you are the type of person that never gets the wow-card, I'm not going to be interested.

Part of the time, I am spontaneous, relaxed, laid back; generally revelling in my freedom. The other part of the time, my life is overflowing with the support of two children.

I mostly try to stick with healthy but yummy foods, exercise, and friends. Sometimes my guitar, or piano, or a good book will work its way into my alone time.

What are some minimum requirements? Don't be an alcoholic. Own a car, and be allowed to legally drive it. Don't have a jail record, or be on probation. You need to be over the last person or people you were with: be emotionally available. Make time to date. I'm busy too, but make myself available...

To go further, into some fantasy of a woman I am looking for, she'd be educated, independent, and self-sufficient. Any children are fine, but certainly not required.

If you looked up any of the words you didn't understand in this description, I'm interested in meeting you. If you read all the words and understood them without a dictionary, even more so.

Despite all this sarcasm, and weird sense of humor, I really do have a big heart. I like to give flowers (sometimes to myself), and generally treat people as kindly as I can. I don't have any expectations, but remain hopeful. I am comfortable just about everywhere, and get along with most everyone.

If you managed to make it to the end of this description, you should drop me line and let me know I kept your attention, even if you're sure we're not a match. Constructive crititcism is always welcome.

Some much time, so little to do. Wait. Strike that! Reverse it.