Ooh, don't you just hate filling out these profiles? I really don't like talking about myself....... *deep breath*

After a twenty year career in the demanding and high profile role of Managing Director of the Universe (whilst bringing up my children without the aid of an au pair),playing in rather a successful retro covers band, and performing countless acts of altruism and charity (often without a thought for my own comfort or safety), I decided it was my turn to take back from society. So, after my fifth divorce, heaps of reflection, and buying a book on Buddhism, I decamped to the rustic charm and spiritual simplicity of the country and became a full time student.

Given that Carluccio's, the Barbican and a half decent latte are now miles away, this sweet little introductions site has become a much loved mainstay in my toolkit of 'student assignment avoidance' and has served me well. So much so that it is now assisting me in skilfully avoiding my dissertation. It has also, however, highlighted three things:

1) I've been here too long;
2) Mr Right isn't on here;
3) I'm hurtling towards a Third.

So, I guess I'll just end up taking my little BSc and heading forward, academically enriched, but alone. Shame, because I was so looking forward to bearing the burden of responsibility for mankind by day and snuggling up on the sofa at night, getting slightly the worse for wear on a nice bottle of red and watching a jolly old dvd with someone special. Or titled. Or obscenely rich.

Thankfully, my many projects helping those less fortunate than myself have taught me to be grateful for the small things. Which reminds me, where did I put my Hermes clutch bag and the keys to my Arabian sports car?

Oops, I nearly forgot to mention, I imagine it goes without saying that I have swum with dolphins off the coast of Mauritius, stroked tigers in Thailand, run the Nairobi marathon, and been to Peru. Twice. Yet, because my children are the very centre of my world, I always put them first - well, what decent mother wouldn't?

As people say on here, if you'd like to know anything else, please don't hesitate to write and ask my lawyers.

I'd check your height first. I'm shallow and prefer tall men. And to all the chaps that kindly write to tell me that it's all the same lying down: darlings, you're short.


Then I'd check to see if you liked this song, or indeed if you've even listened to it, you lazy people:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRRjX8pbfPQ


Otherwise, try this. Mr Eepers, you'll like it, I think:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IN58QnSwDps&feature=related