***JUST MET WHAT MIGHT POSSIBLY BE THE RADDEST WOMAN ON THE PLANET, SO I'M OFFICIALLY OFF THE AUCTION BLOCK. HOPEFULLY I'LL BE TAKING THIS PAGE DOWN SOON. CROSS YOUR FINGERS FOR ME! GOOD LUCK, EVERYONE!******

"Disobedience, in the eyes of anyone who has read history, is man's original virtue. It is through disobedience that progress has been made, through disobedience and through rebellion." -Oscar Wilde

The way to my heart is thru laughter. If you can laugh with me, or make me laugh, i think we'll have a pretty good time. I'm looking for a woman that is independent and realizes the importance of maintaining her sense of self within a relationship. I would like to meet someone who has an interest in art, literature, or music. If going clubbing is a regular activity for you, unfortunately we won't mesh. I'm a sucker for women with glasses, but its not required that you have bad vision. I'm a huge fan of stand up comedy and would really like a woman that would attend live shows with me. Also, any abilities with musical instruments is definitely a plus. :) Hopefully you can sense some of the sarcasm in the following paragraphs. I'd hate to think this makes me look like a ***hole...i'm sure it does...but i'm not...that much. ha! Here goes...

I'm 33, never been married, and have no children. I don't particularly believe in marriage (i believe in commitment to one person, just not marriage...i suppose it'll take the right person to get me to wanna tie the knot.) and i don't want any children of my own (i like kids, just don't want 'em). i couldn't be a responsible enough parent if my kid came out of the womb in a suit and tie and had a full time job already. i've accidentally left ice cream in the car and had it melt. how do i know if i'll be able to draw the line? if YOU have kids, thats great. i'm not gonna rule out dating someone cool because they have kids. I'm just not at the point in my life where i'm looking to have any of my own quite yet.

I am not a troop supporter, nor do i support those in law enforcement per se. If I meet a troop (or cop, for that matter), and he/she isn't a douchebag, then i support HIM/HER, but i do not blindly "support the troops". I'd be thrilled if all the jarheads that wanted to pound my head flat for knocking over their piss warm draft beer at a bar stepped on land mines. And don't give me the whole "I joined the military for college money" line. Whatever...learn to type, or be a stripper. College money my @$$. Be a cool troop and get treated cool...act like a moron and well...you get the idea. Ha!

*Still with me?

I don't believe that the government should be able to tell you what you can do to OR put into your body. That being said, i'm not opposed to drugs. I don't do hard drugs, it just isn't my thing. I'm not gonna say YOU shouldn't do them. Just don't SUCK at doing them. You can keep anything under control when used in moderation. People who are fervently anti-drugs, (1.) never DID drugs, or (2.) Sucked at doing them. You can be a user...just don't be an addict. Thanks! :)

Ok, what else? I enjoy the arts. Music especially. I play guitar and have for the last 16 years. I play in a metal band. You need to know that because it requires me to travel from time to time and takes up a huge chunk of my time and i'd like to avoid that being a source of conflict (especially you ladies with insecurity issues). I am also a visual artist. I primarily do copywriting and art for magazine advertisements (mostly heavy metal magazines). I love animals. I don't believe in wearing anything that came from an animal. No fur or leather. No circuses or zoos. I'm not going to hold YOU to that standard, but i'm not into that stuff. I don't hunt either. If you have a pick up with a cage for your dogs in the back and that truck has been vandalized...more than likely it was me...or i hope it was...i'll get to ya eventually. I Love Hunting Accidents :)

*hang in there...almost done...

If you listen to the radio and think that the "music" that is on the radio is the coolest sh*t you've ever heard, save us both the time and don't write. Pop-country and poorly put together rap music is not music at all. Makes me want to rip off my ears, burn them and bury them. I like my music to be made by people with instruments or some sort of musical ability. Just because you can tap a beat with your fingers and managed to read the manual to your digital sequencer, that doesn't make you a musician. Also...if you've ever owned a Kid Rock cd, find the nearest oven, set it on broil and jump in.

I have some shows on TV that i follow religiously: Sons of Anarchy, Ultimate Fighter, Its Always Sunny in Philadephia, Metalocalypse, Squidbillies, etc. Aside from that i watch a lot of the stuff on Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network. VH1 has gotten to be a pretty cool channel over the years...certainly better than MTV (which, in my opinion, has been responsible for the serious downward spiral of pop culture). I enjoy various kinds of movies. Favorite movies ever? Fletch and Fletch 2. Chevy Chase is a comedic genius.

First date...hmmm. no nightclubs. can't talk in them. movies either. aside from that, i can have fun doing anything.