ALRIGHT…this is already starting to feel like a really, really bad idea. And I mean that literally: my alter ego just beat the crap out of me, in a preclusive effort. (And all you mental health practitioners reaching for your DSM-IV, relax: I was speaking metaphorically!! And as soon as I realized you wouldn’t be able to hear this, I immediately started typing ;) ;) Additionally, this profile will invariably be more widespread in my training facilities than athlete’s foot, courtesy of my not too intelligent teammates and training partners alike. Speaking to whom, I suggest you cerebrally impaired stool stuffers seriously consider the ramifications; you know my Thai clinch claims more teeth than Gingivitis ;) (And therein lies an opportunity for you Freudians to inevitably impart your fundamentally generic theory in suspecting my parents of not holding me adequately as a child. Truth is I wish they wouldn’t have: my father has the worst case of halitosis I’ve yet to encounter, and my mother has an extensive case of acid reflux! Urban myth has it they helped inspire the innovation of the Tic-Tac ;) And at the risk of revealing my telepathic capabilities, I know exactly what you’re thinking – and the answer is no: I am not medicated!

Alright, it’s probably time to start taking this a little more seriously – but not too seriously! I think for the most part people take themselves and life way too seriously - and consequently miss out on all of the pleasures which are right in front of them. The only way to live life is in the present - and until people have an inherent understanding of this, prescriptions for anti-depressants and sleep aids will remain epidemic! And what’s up with everybody trying to be somebody these days, as opposed to just being – themselves!! It’s for this reason I find it difficult to meet someone of substance in a club or lounge setting. People just seem so uptight these days!! The only conceivable benefit to being that up tight is the potential of putting coal in your --- and being able to ---- diamonds (But then again, I’ve tried this experimentally with both my parents and with very little success – and if it didn’t work with them, chances are it’s not going to happen ;)

I was quick to subscribe to the illusionary version of success that's perpetuated today: I started my own Financial Services Firm when I was only 24, was working 14 hour days – and for all the wrong reasons. My life is far more passionate now and very well balanced: I’ve assembled a solid infrastructure and have proficient support systems in place in an effort to create a self sustaining entity, which facilitates my business objectives and simultaneously allows me to pursue my passions outside of the office. I refuse to work past 6:00 on weekdays, and no longer work on weekends; I train extensively in Muay Thai and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu on alternating nights throughout the week for 2.5 hours, and for 3.5 hours on Saturdays. I generally enjoy my Saturday evenings with a wide range of means and interests, and typically like to relax on Sundays with family and that special someone (that’s where you come in, if you play your cards right ;) On one end of the spectrum, I am extremely well read on a myriad of subjects, while on the other, have a propensity to be a complete clown: I will inevitably have the respect of your self proclaimed most sophisticated family member, in addition to having your little brother or sister thinking I am off the heezy - for sheezy ;) (And if I think you’re off the heezy, I might just let you tease me – and possibly even squeeze me ;) And there goes my career as a rapper...

I know exactly what I am looking for in a woman – but instead of outlining the ideal you in great detail (Which by corollary allows you to present yourself plausibly ;) I propose we just get together and trust the precision of our instincts to determine our fate. Life is really simple - but we insist on making it complicated...