Dear President Obama,

Okay, so I guess care-packages help while deployed, but I really wouldn't mind having a few dates shipped over too. I mean, tickets are only what.....1, 2 thousand round-trip? Sure, a box with 22 decks of playing cards and a bar of deodorant can really help pass the time, but I'd rather occupy my time with a keeper. You can help me out, right? I mean, I DID vote for you....I think.....

First dates really vary. As long as you have a sense of humor I'm sure it'll be great regardless. I guess if I really had to put some thought in it I'd say we could go out for some chai. First I'd let you wear my extra set of body armor, (It only feels heavy at first....actually nevermind, it's always heavy) then we'd go to Mahdi's cafe for some chai and falafel. If you're really lucky I might take you out to get your own wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man, but only if the chemistry is right.