So here I was feeling all clever and thinking that it must be the right time to post a profile. I got to thinking this way because I was kicking ass at Jeopardy this evening, I think I got just about every clue and then I finally saw that it was the teen tournament. Ok, well at least that shows that I am indeed smarter than a fifth grader but close enough in the intellectual capacity to a secondary fiver. You know truth be told maybe that’s about the equivalent that I’ve always needed to get by.
In fact it really is. After high school I decided that school was not exactly to my liking, you know what they say if you can’t do then teach. Since then I decided that the journey was far more important of an education and I really didn’t have this need to be woken by an alarm.

In fact I have this theory about that. Apparently most of the folks that know me say I get better looking with age. I attribute that to a combo of good genes (thanks mom) and the fact that I have not had my beauty sleep interrupted by an alarm clock in years. Last alarm clock I had got smoked when I quit my job and ran away, it actually got busted up with a Louisville Slugger and tossed off the Jacques Cartier bridge. Yes I know it’s not exactly environmentally friendly but it was damn symbolic.

So let’s see I’ve covered my intelektual capacity, looks and my care for the environment, what else can I tell you about myself? Well perhaps we can speak about my dog, or maybe we can discuss the fact that even if you’ve had a prolific career in modeling and are completely compatible with me, well if you can’t handle dogs then I’m sorry to break it to you but even though I hate having the fur everywhere (couch, bed, corners, oatmeal) I’m kinda stuck with him. I don’t have baggage but I do have poop bags.

My job, yup I have gainful employment. I actually have more than that, I actually have work to do but I love what I do for a living. I work in an industry with a high level of substance abuse but thankfully I go across the border quite often so I get my booze at a discounted rate. In fact I think that what I do is kinda unique actually, I like it’s creative nature, sometimes its fun and other times I get to use the F word as a noun, verb and an adjective in a single sentence. Heck, I’m even on a first name basis with Betty Boop due to it.

So I guess this brings me to the point where I’m supposed to discuss what I’m looking for in you. Now to let you know, I don’t necessarily think that I’m going to find it here as you do get what you pay for but there was a couple of you in particular that I wanted to reach out to and writing up a little blurb like this wasn’t all that much of an accomplishment in my life, especially not in comparison to final Jeopardy. So here’s the deal, if your idea of a vacation is a cruise, if you want to hit the mall on a gorgeous day and you have a fascination with Paris, (Hilton, not the place), then chances are we ain’t soul mates. The rest of it well, I figure that will work itself out if my email manages to get through the clutter that hits your inbox on a daily basis. If there’s a happy ending here then great, if not well at least there’s a great football game on tonight. What could make for a happier ending to the evening than that?

Anyways, let’s see. Online dating can be (lots of nouns, verbs and adjectives inserted here) and I’ll eventually settle down but I will never settle. If you’re the one then great, it means you’re a glutton for punishment, ready to take a bit into the apple and also looking for the snuggle partner....please do not tell the guys I just said that...so if that’s the case then maybe I’m the one if not then I believe that the next profile might be good too....he seems to have nice breasts.

I think I wrote more than enough in the other section, I think we'll come up with something imaginative, romantic and fun....