| Annoying Man :
I AM The Most Annoying Man in the World |
| |
| City |
Beaverton Oregon |
| Area |
United States |
| Ethnicity |
Caucasian |
| Sign |
Capricorn |
|
Height | 6' 0" (183 cm)
|
|
|
|
| |
| I am Seeking a |
Woman
|
Who is Looking
for |
Dating |
|
| |
| Smoker? |
No |
| Do you drink? |
Often (>3 times/week) |
| Marital Status |
Single |
| Profession |
political talk radio host |
| Smarts |
PhD / Post Doctoral |
|
|
| Do you want children? |
Prefer Not To Say |
| Do you do drugs? |
No |
| Do you have children? |
Yes |
| Do you have a car? |
Yes |
|
| | About Me |
| | As I sit around a table all day drinking cheap beer and smoking cheap cigars and leering at cheap women, I am an adviser to kings. My day might start out by advising President Obama on how to pass health care legislation, giving Warren Buffet stock market tips, helping Andrew Lloyd Weber with writer's block or maybe helping Lyle Lovett with an arrangement or helping a poor person get a housing loan.
The next day might involve helping Mitch McConnell block health care legislation, explaining the newest technology to Bill Gates, training dogs for Michael Vick or offering marital advice to Elizabeth Taylor.
The following day I might bundle that housing loan with a bunch of others and sell them to international investors as AAA securities, give a few singing tips to Willie Nelson, pray with Billy Graham and advise the Pope on which sins should be upgraded from mortal to venal. Usually by Thursday Urban Meyer and Bill Parcells are calling to get a few tips for gameday.
Fridays I conduct research on how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
I am also humble and look like my picture, which I can't post here due to contractual obligations to my employer. |
| | First Date |
| |
On a first date, I would allow you to pick me up in your limousine and take me to a restaurant of my choice. We would sit around a table with beautiful women and drink cheap beer and smoke cheap cigars. At that time, you would show me evidence that you have won a Nobel Prize and show me the Playboy in which you appeared as Playmate of the moth. In the meantime, I'll have my accountant examine the audited balance sheet and income statements from the trust set up by your grandparents.
I'll let you pick the topics of conversation that I will talk about, because I will know more about them than you do. But first I will tell you about the places that I have been that are more exciting or beautiful than the places you've been, the people that I know that are more famous than the people that you know, the wine that I've drunk and cigars that I've smoked that are more expensive than anything you've drunk or smoked. I'll brag about my kids who are smarter and funnier than your kids and I'll also tell you the story of my ex-fiance, who is much more beautiful and intelligent than you will ever hope to be who died from an incurable disease weeks before I found the cure even though I crammed four years of medical school into 3 months.
We will dine on the meat of endangered species and eat dessert made from plants that are encroaching into threatened rain forests. Afterward we will fly on your private jet (mine is undergoing it's 500,000 mile checkup) to my private island (stopping first to negotiate peace in the Middle East), where I will have sex on the beach and you can join me later. |
| |
Annoying Man has 2 roses that can be sent. |
Add to favorites
|
