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Do you want children? Does not want children Do you have children? All my kids are over 18
About Me
My photos are current and I expect the same. I'm not here to see how many people I can get on my favorites list. So please don't add me unless you want to have a serious conversation. I would rather be happy alone than be unhappy with someone because I settled for them in my impatience to find "the one". Above all else be honest. Oh and for the few of you that find it necessary to act like pigs. Grow Up!
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****************************Life is short, Break the rules********************* ***********************************Forgive quickly******************************* ********************************Kiss slowly, Love truly************************** *********************************Laugh uncontrollably**************************** **********************And never regret anything that made you smile.*************
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*For all you guys that don't get it, the following is a joke and for your entertainment only: geesh
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RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN
TO SHARE
LIFE AND FORTUNE
WITH THE FOLLOWING QUALIFICATIONS:
1. WON'T BEAT ME UP
2. WON'T RUN AWAY
3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED
For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of
e-mails...all to no avail. None of the men seemed to meet her qualifications.
Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man, with no arms and no legs, lying on the welcome mat. Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you and what do you want?"
"Hi," said the man "Your search is over, for I am the man of your dreams. I've got no arms, so I can't beat you up and I've got no legs, so I can't run away."
The woman asked, "What makes you think you're so great in bed?"
To which he replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
LOL
Teaka
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The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be THE Man Of Your House."
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?" The wife replied, "The F***in' funeral director would be my first guess."
LOL
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Women
are\like apples
on trees.The/best ones
are a \the/top of\the tree.
Most men/don't want/to reach
for\the/good ones/because/they
are afraid of falling\and/getting
hurt.Instead, they/sometimes take
the apples/from/the ground that
aren't\as/good,but easy.
The apples at/the top
think\something
is wrong/with
them,|when in
reality,|
they're|
|amazing
They|just
have to |
wait| for
the|right
|man to |
come|along,
the one|who
is|brave
enough|to
climb|all
the|way
|to the
top of |
the|tree
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The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed.
The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".
hahahaha
First Date
First dates are just plain scary, but it gets a lot worse when you meet them and discover they are far from even the most meager of hopes you had for them to be what you wanted. Here's some tips on how to get rid of them, fast!
-Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your date begins talking about himself/herself.
-Without asking, eat off of your date's plate. Eat more from their plate than they do.
-Chew with your mouth open, talk with your mouth full, and spray crumbs. If a crumb lands anywhere near your date, pick up the crumb, put it in your mouth and say, "I'm all about conservation."
-Ask the people at neighboring tables for food from their plates.
-Beg your date to tattoo your name on their derriere. Keep bringing the subject up periodically throughout the meal.
-Ask for crayons to color the placemat. You'll need to be extra persuasive in fancier restaurants with linen tablecloths.
-Lick your plate. Offer to lick your date's.
-Hum. Loudly. In monotone.
-Stare at your date's neck and grind your teeth audibly.
-Twitch spastically. If asked about it, pretend you don't know what they are talking about.
-Drool.
-Sacrifice French fries to a Pagon god.
-Discretely fill your pockets with sugar packets, napkins, salt shakers, silverware, floral arrangements, etc...
-Hold a debate. Take both sides.
-Undress your date verbally.
-Attempt to auction your date off to people nearby.
-After getting your food slide under the table. Take your plate with you.
-Discuss boils and lesions, as if from personal experience.
-Occasionally speak in Pig Latin throughout the meal.
-Take a break, and go into the restroom. When you return to the table, throw a spare pair of underwear on the back of one of the chairs. Tell your date, "They need to air out."
-Bring twenty candles with you to the restaurant. During the meal get up and arrange them around the table in a circle. Chant.
-Refuse to speak to your date. Request that they mime the conversation instead.
-During meal guard your plate with your fork and steak knife. Give the impression that you'll stab anyone, reaching for it.
-Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice.
-Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions.
-Repeat every third third word you say say.
-Order your food by colors and textures. Sculpt.
-Insist that the waiter cut your food into little pieces.
-Insist that the waiter take one bite from everything served to you. Explain that you need to make sure no one has poisoned your food.
-Don't use any verbs during the entire meal.
Mail Settings (To message Teakaboo222 you MUST meet the following criteria.)
Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not be looking for Activity Partner
Teakaboo222 Appears on 3 members favorites lists and has 2 roses that can be sent.
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