been told my profile is full of gobble dee gook . i give up ! .and i got flu for my birthday!! ( pete , shortarse , miserable of cirencester)

CHRISTMAS CAKE

Ingredients:

* 2 cups flour
* 1 stick butter
* 1 cup of water
* 1 tsp baking soda
* 1 cup of sugar
* 1 tsp salt
* 1 cup of brown sugar
* Lemon juice
* 4 large eggs
* Nuts
* 1 bottle tequila
* 2 cups of dried fruit


Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the tequila
again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and
drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a
large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point
it's best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup... Just
in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and
chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit
gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a crewscriver. Sample
the tequila to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or
something. Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your
nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can
find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall
over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, finish the tequila and wipe counter with the cat.

Bingle Jells!



HOBBIES
love sitting by a peaceful river or beautiful lake fishing ( sometimes i even put bait on the hook )
EXERCISE
rowing machine (i drift a lot).fumbling with rubic cube, hurling the cube. patient
throwing boomerang,try catching boomerang, bandaging n first aid .
walking dog (to pub), tug of war (from pub,dog wants to go home).....
climbing...

update...sadly dog is now a free spirit .. i miss her :((

UPDATE
I got a parrot.. Alfie.. he keeps telling me to "come ere"

UPDATE
aug 09 alfie has upgraded his "come here" to "pete! pete! come ere ", he can count to 9 ,sometimes nearly in order, gives a high 4 if he wants food (only 4 claws), says "oops or bugger" if he drops something , helps me make tea in the morning by explaining i need "water,teabag, milk ! "when i open fridge door , plus big slurping sounds with a "yum yum", waves his foot and shouts "yoohoo" to folk walking by and when i stick my head out of window to see who it was he gets their attention for me by giving a piercing wolf whistle ...... there may be trouble ahead ! .
update oct 09. out of the silent cage erupts a massive "BURP!!" and a polite voice says" PARDON ME " . also " squeek squeek squeek ! Steffaannyy !! "
stephanie is the guinea pig .


------------./??/)---------- Please Put
-----------,/?..//----------- This On
-----------/....//------------ Your Account
-------/??/'...'/???`??---- If You Know
------/'/.../..../......./??\--- Someone Who
----('(...?...?.... ?~/'...') – Lied To You
-----\.................'......../-- And Pi**ed
--------'\'...\............ ----- You Off! LOL

TO CONTACT THIS PERSON YOU MUST HAVE THE FOLLOWING ....

BE FEMALE, HAVE PULSE, HAVE HAIR, (PREFERABLY ON HEAD NOT ON FACE OR BACK),
TEETH (REMOVABLE IS OK), EARS EYES NOSE (ALL ON FACE) FEET(MUST REACH THE GROUND AS I AM A SHORTARSE) HAVE OWN TRACTOR ( SEND PIC OF TRACTOR ). BOOBS ( MUST BE AT FRONT )..
british Scientist, from cardiff, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient sexual activity in their lives tend to read this profile with their hand still on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off, it's too late....lol

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% of plepoe can. - I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer is in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

a pub lunch would be nice. chat in the gardens by the river , might even get a boat out. or just sit in the rain under the big umbrella ... who would i like to meet?
a bbw (big beautiful woman)is nice. rubenesque - the meaning being "a pear-shaped woman of ample bust, plump cheeks, soft full lips and a healthy profile of alluring curves and crevasses" ( told you i liked climbing ) . although its the personality i like. genuine nice real trustworthy and honesty.love somerset/bristol accent/and long hair/ short if its cute lol . long term , life long ? I want to meet the last person i would want to kiss with passion love and a flutter in my heart . divorced hundreds of years ago . had a long relationship..although i feel i am too old to be not ready again .... anyone else know what i mean ??
pete

saw this and copied it coz i liked it ..

If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...

another one i stole ....

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits they become character
Watch your character;
it becomes your destiny.

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