I think that life is one of the most hilarious and enjoyable things to do. On the other hand some days I wish I could take a vacation from life just for a while and see what else there is to do.

I Killed Prince Charming and The Girl Next Door maimed Mr. Right

Well I really didn't kill Prince Charming, just put him out of commission forever. Earlier in the day I had been discussing with a woman life and relationships and Prince Charming's name came up once again and that was the last straw.

For most of my life I have heard about or read about Prince Charming and how women are always looking for him and can never seem to find him. I don't really know why they can't find him because when I called him up he answered his cell on the third ring.

I thought I would do all of the women a favor and finish this unrealistic search for something grand. So I got on the phone and invited Prince Charming and Mr. Right out for a few drinks. My initial plan was just to get them messed up and then set them straight in their ways. But as the night progressed they started swapping stories about how each had put on the good face and then bagged on each woman who fell for their play.

I was tired of their lies as each one tried to top the other's stories and I drove them out to the lake. I was just going to leave them their but they started taunting me, trying to find a weakness somewhere within my heart. I didn't fall for it and headed back to the car. They called me a coward, mocked my kindness and made fun of your mothers who had passed upon their myth. It angered me, but I tried to let it pass over me until Mr. Right sucker punched me in the kidney. That was the last straw.

I swung around and my fist caught his jaw. He staggered back and fell onto the rocks dazed. I was almost back to my car when The Girl Next Door drove up and got out smiling. She laughed at me, shook her head and hugged me.

When she walked over to help Mr. Right up he knocked her down and Prince Charming laughed and lugged a large rock at her. Luckily in his drunken state he was slow and I was able to jump in front of the rock before it hit her. It hit hard and hurt like a mule, but no woman should have to put up with these two anymore.

I hate violence, but I felt it was the only way at this point. I walked over to the Prince and punched him square in the mouth. He spit up blood and teeth as he screamed at me. His words were big as he backed away, but it didn't stop me, I wasn't finished. My fist pounded his inner thigh and took his legs from him. He mouthed "Please stop" but I knew he would never stop his quest to dominate women world wide, it ended now. With his arms pinned behind his back I walked him into the water, held him under until his struggles became slow and then pulled him up. He mummbled idle threats and I shoved him back under. This time when I brought him up he was silent.

As I walked him back to the docks I witnessed The Girl Next Door hobbling Mr. Right. I didn't know she had it in her, the way she crushed his ankles with the small boulder in her hands. There were tears in her eyes when I grabbed her arms and told her enough was enough. I walked her back to her car and asked her to wait for me.

I walked back to Mr. Right and Prince Charming where they layed huddle together on the beach. I looked at them and saw them as who they were, lies, myths, broken dreams. This was it I told them, run, hide, dissappear, their reign was over. I asked if they understood and both nodded yes as they shuddered at the hell that burned behind my eyes. I threw them my car keys and told them they were to never be seen again.

The Girl was still crying when I got back to her car. I told her to move over and drove her back to her house. She was tired and worn out as I carried her inside. She was quiet as I ran her a bath, undressed her and helped her into the salted waters. Her body relaxed as I lit the candles and left her alone.

She walked out of the bathroom wrapped in a soft white robe smiling. Her eyes shined bright in the dim light of the room. She walked up to me, held out a bottle of lotion and said "please."

There isn't one set first date, each is unique in it own right and tailored to the individual. I like a suprise.