I have decided to take a break! I dont know when I will be back, for all of the wonderful friends I have here thank you!

Heeeellllooooo nurse! Well you have made it this far, now how do I keep your attention? Better yet how do I get you to contact me? Ok why would I want you to contact me? Simple, I am a frim beliver that sometimes you over look the best things in life. There is someone out there for us all, we just may not be looking in the right spot!(quick note: Those little blue things they put in the bottom of urinals! They are not mints, trust me!)

So I suppose its time to tell you about me! By trade (duck! oh wait, thats a goose.) I think that life should always be filled with adventure, no matter how big or small. Either turning your living room into a tropical beach in the middle of winter, or making a tent over your bed and camping out under a blanket of man made stars, enjoy!

I have three wonderful children, and my life is devoted to (speaking of goose, if you use two fingers would that be a geese?) making them never have to worry about need. I work hard and I play hard(ok so I dont work as hard as I play, can you blame me?) Why is it you only get to pick one thing that you want!? What if your looking for more than that!? Heck I would like just to meet new people to make as friends, you can never have enough friends you know!

I am a firm believer in four meals a day, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and fudge! I am the type guy likes to shake things up, I hate doing things the same way day in and day out. Did I mention that I have the body of a god? (unfortunately it is Bhuddas!)

So if you have made it this far down my profile,(wow you are dedicated!) I suppose you would like to know what type of woman I am looking for, well for starters breathing would be nice!(just kidding!) I love a woman who is going to give back as good as she gets from me! I would hope that you enjoy having a good time. Maybe you like to laugh,( ok laugh alot!) I dream that she loves to travel, but doenst mind sitting at home snuggled up on the couch either! You know I dont care if you have a picture or not, I dont care if you are tall or short, skinny or va-va-voluptuos! (geese, we all know thats pural for a goose, how come we dont call more than one moose, meese?)All I care about is that you have a good personality, and tend to be a half full rather than a half empty type of person! So what are you waiting for! I wont bite(well not to hard anyway!)

1 Have you ever beheld the power of cheese?
2 How often do you go over the speed limit?
3 Do you dance like crazy, when no one is looking?
4 Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?
5 Have you ever wiped peanut butter on a squirrel(the people want to know!) ?
6 Which way does your toilet paper hang on the wall ?
7 Who has better looking legs, Mae West or a chicken ?
8 Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"?
9 Have you ever gone cow-tipping?
10 If you dont know the words to a song do you improvise?
11 So if a cat always lands on its feet and toast always lands butter side down, If you put a butter side up piece of toast on a cats back then drop it, would you create anti-garvity?
12.Whats with the hand-basket, and where are we going?
13. How can it be wrong if it feels soooooooooooo good?
14. If a turtle loses his shell is he naked or homeless?
15. Would church be more fun if we all went naked?
This profile will self destruct in 9....8......7......6......5.....4.....3....2.....what your still reading this!

The Naked Clown Compatibility test!

Our team of highly team of highly trained relationship specialists using the latest technology (One monkey with a Commodore 64) has compiled the following question to best match you with A Naked Clown!

1.If suddenly declared myself the God of Fudge would you…
A. Immediately begin paper work for my admission to Warm Springs.
B. Shake your head and go back to your paperwork.
C. Sacrifice batches of virgin fudge to appease me?
D. Declare yourself the Goddess of Cookies and then rule my Ice Cream kingdom with me!

2.You are traveling in the enchanted woods when you happen upon Percival the Precocious Pixie Prince who offers you the chance to peer at his magical kaleidoscopes you…
A.Politely decline, last time you peered at a magical kaleidoscopes you got magical crabs.
B.Oblige, everyone knows that Percival the Precocious Pixie Prince is harmless!
C.Give him a good nutcracker suite and go on you way.
D.What are you some kind of pervert?

3. You are hiking on a trail when you happen upon me naked, and squealing with delight like a three year old, you…
A.Promptly call 911.
B.Smile, and lure me into the bushes with a free piece of candy.
C.Take my hand and begin looking for my mommy.
D.Join me!

4. Some Missionaries come to you door looking to convert you…
A.Listen as they give your their speech.
B.Grab the cute one and plant a wet one on him.
C.Invite both of them in under the pretext of lemonade and cookies then sacrifice both of them to Beelzebub.
D.What the hell, you have always wanted to join a cult!

5. The Cookie Monster…
A.Is a character on Sesame Street.
B.Is kind of cute.
C.Should never be trusted, he only pretends to eat the cookies, he never swallows!

6. You would like to die…
A.Peacefully, in bed surrounded by family and friends.
B.In glorious battle.
C.While smothered in chocolate.
D.With the pedal to the metal while Smokie is hot on your tail!

I would hang upside down from a tree and make monkey sounds! What!? You cant tell me that is not sexy! Come on throw me a bone here! At least upgrade me to cute!