Update:
Ok figured it was time to update not that I like talking about myself. I am just a simple person dont have the newest gadget, dont text message on my phone. Dont need material possesions to show off. Figured you like the person for who they are not for what they have. I am kinda shy until I warm up to someone. I dont bring drama from my life into a relationship once I pull into the garage if there is something bothering me I hit the punching bag until I feel like it wont interupt my personal life. Plus its one hell of a workout. I cant say I am the best looking person in the world but the one thing is I guarentee is that when you enter the room with me all the attention is put on you. But the one thing I am looking for is someobdy who is willing to think about the possiblity of settling down and starting a family, have finally got tired of being a social minority of never being married or having any children that I know of. Thanks for spending the time reading this.

A taster of my humor
Tazer warning:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA bat teries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.


AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my roomates cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my friend to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delica tely on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst
was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5' long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference;
pretty cute really and (loade d with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...?

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head****d to one side as to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I
touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . .
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . .
WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . .
WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the car